Hermann Fegelein
“FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!”
Herman Fegelein (30 October 1906 - 30 April 1945) was a Nazi German commander. He despised Adolf Hitler and hungered for bagels.
Early Life[edit]
Hermann Fegelein was an obedient child. Born in 1906, in Ansbach, Germany, Fegelein was German. Fegelein always loved playing jokes and eating bagels. He attended Bayern Munch Football School, where Fegelein learned how to kick bagels and eat it without having the Dirt and Infection ooky tribes entering the body. Fegelein graduated from the Bagel High School-Berlin in 1924. In 1925 he joined the Third Reich of Nazism Under the Fuhrer That Hates Pranks (TRONUTFTHP). Fegelein was assigned the Cavalry, which involved eating horses.
The SS[edit]
In the TRONUTFTHP in 1933, Fegelein became Leader of the SS Cavalry, where he subjected the soldiers to eating ponies while he secretly ate bagels. In July 1936, Fegelein invited all SS generals to his Olympics Bagel Party, situated at the top of the stadium around a Flying Dempster's Bagel Zeppelin.
Musical Career[edit]
In 1926, Fegelein got inspired by the Soviet National Anthem and decided to make music, rapping and dissing the Fuhrer. His first album - Der Bagel, released on April 2, 1926 was a success, and got 11,822 sales on its first day. Hitler found out once the news was carried to Berlin, and seized Fegelein of musical activity. However, in November 1936 it was discovered Fegelein had a second album, titled KILL DIE FUHRER!!!!!!!! After Fegelein's death Hitler found the lost album, he heard it, and committed Suicide hours later. The only song Hitler liked on that suicidal album was "Fortnite", since at that time Nazis loved Fortnite
WWII[edit]
In World War II Fegelein destroyed Soviet Union by driving a Lawn mower into Moscow. In 1945, with Nazi Germany on the verge of losing, Fegelein bought a MasterCard from the Bundesbank. He was preparing to escape to London and go to Canada where he'd be free of all Sorrow and Death. However, Hans Krebs and Albert Speer found Fegelein's plans and went to the Bunker where Hitler lived.
Death[edit]
Hitler was informed of Fegelein's desertion and just as Fegelein finished packing 384 bagels into a Sobeys bag in his home, on April 30, 1945, Dr. Josef Mengele of the Jewish Summer Camp Organization (JSCO), also known as the Department of Nazi Extermination Camps (DNEC), found and hit Fegelein with his Excerise Balls. Fegelein's iPhone X was found by Mengele, and he has kept it since. As said in Musical Career, once Hitler found KILL DIE FUHRER!!!!!!! he committed suicide.