Great Chav Drowning of 1920

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“Drowning lots of chavs

May contaminate water.

Lots of cholera.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Chav Haiku

A chav, six of whom drowned in the Great Chav Drowning.

The Chav drowning was a humorous tragedy that happened when 6 chavs drowned and 40 more had their first ever baths when someone turned on the tap that flooded the Chav Ghettos of Wst Chatham, this event has received condemnation from Chav Amnesty international and filthy Bitches Inc however it marks the invention of the shower.

Before the Drowning[edit]

Chatham (Now Known as Chavham), was famously known for its growing population of the ethnic Chavs, who were seen as parasites to society at large with claiming benefits, being unemployed and generally introducing their vile music to 3 year old kids who would turn into chavs and add to the growing population.

This was met with a hug outcry from many of the native Chathamonians who started the anti chav party which won 64% of Chatham and elected Lord Satan (The father of Tony Blair). Lord Satan worked with council elders to try and eradicate the Chav using various firearms and classical music machines however their efforts were futile to begin with, until some had a great idea...

Turn on the Tap[edit]

On January 32nd, Someone decided to turn the tap on and water came gushing out... The waters hit the Chav ghettos of West Chatham and within 39 minutes the ghetto was flooded, 34 Chavs were soaked and had finally had their first baths, the water kept coming out and 6 more chavs were wet however things to an ugly/Beautiful turn when the waters rose 3ft and Chavs started going underwater. At 3:30pm the water hit Chavdonolds, Chavmark and Cash Converters which instantly decimated the buildings due to mass looting, then the water hit the chav residential area thus making most of the hobo inhabitants homeless.


Someone decided to turn off the tap and the water stopped flowing but by then the entire Chav Ghetto was destroyed, primarily due to confused Chavs thinking it was the water Pokemon Lapras to seek vengeance for the stolen Pokemon cards. Furniture was stolen, homes were looted and six chavs died a good wet death, Lord Satan proclaimed that after this event there could never be another January 32nd and therefore there is no recollection of this event.

Gordon Brown famous remarked after his boxing match with Tony Blair that the Chav drowning did Britain some good and possibly saved dole money and the NHS, however more liberal parliamentarians such as David "Sugar Daddy" Cameron said it save British values and stopped generations of inbreeding which would have ocntinued had this event never happens. Bozo the clown commented that he just wish he could find a job.

Chavs who died[edit]

Katie Price, allergic to water
Davina McCall, Her big mouth swallowed to much water
Chris Moyles, starved after not eating for 2 minutes
Lily Allen, Lost her drugs
Tyler the Dog, Eaten by a Chav
Catherine Tate, Erotic Death

Great Chav Drowning of 1920 Directors cut[edit]

A feature was released of this event in August 2004 enumerating this great event, special extras were included such as a never before seen interview with Lord Satan himself, Jordan's drowning and Hitler's reaction.


Mainly laughter was the accompanied reaction with parties however there were a few politicians who wanted to appeal to the Chav minority who condemned this act such as the reanimated Gordon Brown and his cronies who said that not enough Chavs died and more could have been done to kill more Chavs, others such as Osama Bin Laden (nee Smith) stated that he and his band Al-Qaeeda wanted to portray a tribute to the fallen victims especially Tyler the Dog.