George Lucas (nobody)
“OMG DIDN'T YOU DIRECT—...oh”
George Lucas (born June 12, 1949) is an American tax fraud investigator in Hopkins, Minnesota. George enjoys skiing, golf, lawn care, spending time with his friends, doing salad unboxing videos, and not directing any Star Wars films.
History[edit]
“Yo, Georgie Boy, need those I-124a forms by tomorrow, 'k buddy?”
George grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was fifth-string forward on his high school soccer team. After finishing high school, he continued his uneventful and exceedingly lackluster life by enrolling in the University of Minnesota after hearing somewhere that the legendary Peter Graves had once attended. George enjoyed U of M greatly, and still keeps in touch with a bunch of his old college buddies like Bill, Oscar, Spinner, and of course funny-man[citation needed] Carrot Top.
George is fond of milk cartons (his children have appeared on them), and has commented several times that he intends to shoot a photo gallery with them.
Family[edit]
George met his wife Linda at a local deli, just after starting his tax fraud investigation work in Hopkins. The two conversed over a pastrami and chipped beef sandwich, instantly falling in love. They married a year later, and a year after that, gave birth to their first child, Mark. Another two years passed before their second son James and first daughter Marie (twins) were born.
George and Linda decided to stop having children at this point. The family adopted a dog named Jar Jar. In addition to Jar Jar, George always had an interest in exotic fish. For his 43rd birthday, Linda surprised him with a saltwater fish tank, filled with a number of rare, individually-named sea creatures, each fish bigger than the last. George was thrilled.
George on George[edit]
“Is it some sort of war between a bunch of celebrities?”
Like five other people in the world, George Lucas has never seen a Star Wars movie, or heard of the other George Lucas. Star Wars quotes are still met with blank, puzzled stares from George and the Lucas family.
Coincidentally, the actual George Lucas who actually directed the films had never heard of George Lucas either. When the two were finally introduced in the summer of 1988, an epic exchange took place:
- George: So, I hear that your name is also George Lucas huh?
- George: Yep, yep yep...
- George: What do you do then, George?
- George: Ooh, I do tax work, fraud investigation mostly...
- George: Ahh...yeah...
- George: Ooh ya. So I hear you do something with motion pictures then? <sips coffee>
- George: Umm..."something", yes...
See also[edit]
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