Gay rights

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A common misconception is that gay rights are special rights. In reality, gay rights are just rights to that are gay. Like the right for an attorney, that is an example of a gay right.


First established in England during the 18th century, the Gay Rights movement had its humble origins in a chapel near the mouth of the Rhein. It was founded by Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron, both upstanding members of the local constabulary, and former altar boys. Wilde and Byron were against the gay exclusion act, and the 3/5th's compromise(counted 3 people for every 5 gays).

While their first meeting was completely accidental, the two men soon realized that fate must have intervened. With Byron under attack from the Gay Wrong and Wilde under attack from the Gay Left, they soon realized that their only hope of salvation would be to form a new organization. As both groups had made many enemies, willing members were not hard to find. Seeking a name which highlighted their cause, the two men settled upon the Gay W/Rights club. After much debate, they agreed to use a lowercase r in the second word. This pacified Wilde, who pronounced both words the same, and Byron, who desperately needed an r.

First Missions of the Gay rights Club[edit]

With their organization now named, Wilde and Byron soon turned it against their foes. Having a great deal of experience writing military propaganda, (some even stolen by the Nazis) Wilde began to pen Byron's fiery orations, which he delivered as weekly sermons, and to children during story hour. These orations were hugely popular for pirates, and Byron and Wilde converted many to their cause. Within months the surrounding populace had been initiated, and they began to march south into Fellatio.

Their first assault began on Oct. 20, 1284. Not much is known about their battles, but we encourage disillusioned members to speak out here confidentially.

The Breakup of the Gay rights Club[edit]

While they fought the good fight, and ultimately triumphed over their enemies, the GRC was not immune to its own rhetoric. Feeling rather chipper one April Fool's day, Wilde decided to pen a little phrase into one of Byron's speeches. Assuming that the great orator would see it and recognize it for what it was, Wilde jokingly closed one speech with the now-infamous quote:

Upon reading this aloud, Byron slowly grew red in the face, as the astonished members began to mutter angrily. Perceiving that they had been being used by their leaders, a massive catfight began in the church, and soon fires and looting consumed the town. Wilde, sitting in the back, quickly escaped the situation by leaping into Byron's horse, given to him by Catherine the Great, and gunning it. As Byron was being pelted with feces and wadded up tissues, he ran to the door, just in time to see Wilde ride off in the distance, upon his own horse.

After escaping on a pink bicycle, Byron swore that he would devote the rest of his life to hunting down Wilde, to punish him for what he had done.

The GRC in Modern Times[edit]

After the downfall of their leaders, the members of the GRC splintered into multiple competing factions. For the next two hundred years the various groups fought each other, until finally uniting to fight against the Retards and the Gays. Currently, the GRC is called PETA. Their next fight will be against the tyranny of the Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want.

Peter Tatchell, a modern gaylord likes to distance himself from PETA, preferring to be called the second coming of the GRC. He regularly receives protein injections.