Game:Zork/File 1

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
 The Super Ultimate Final Conclusive Showdown Battle of The End Score: 51687 Moves: 451

Save file restored.

> look

You're in the Hall of the Stargate! Your party memebers consist of the NYPD forces, Zombie Aeris, Wallace and Gromit, The Wrong Trousers, Captain Obvious, Jimmy Neutron, Angus Young, Dopefish, Hewey, Louie and Dewey, Bender, Dr. Zoidberg, The Magic School Bus, Babe Ruth, Harvey Birdman, Leeroy Jenkins, Avenger, the Bear, Lumpy the Heffalump, person3, Tigger, Homer Simpson, Herbie the Love Bug, The Marx Brothers, Princess Peach, Spider-Man, Calvin and Hobbes, Yoshimitsu, Meatwad, Boxy Brown, Dewey and Vanessa, Frylock, the Punisher, Solid Snake, D-Jumper and his 3 alter egos(They got hit in the chest and warped out.), Meta Knight, Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star. As more Xenomorph hordes rush in from their forsaken dimension to replace their fallen comrades, you notice that the NYPD forces holding them off are dwindling. You and your party members don't have much time left to destroy the Unobtanium Crystal!

Zombie Aeris cries "What are you doing? I told you to use it already!" and casts curaja, returning your HP to max. "There's no time to waste!" she shouts, as attack squadrons of Clinjas drop from the ceiling, throwing balloon animals at your party. Grues swarm from behind the masses of dead sheep as Wallace and Gromit gear up their shotguns and launch round after round at Eurgs that have joined forces with hordes of giant flying stingrays. The Wrong Trousers charge into the frenzy, taking out hordes of penguins and even trampling an Eladrin in the process. Why is it that you suddenly hear bad rap music pounding into your head? "Oh noes!" cries a nearby Teletubby as MC Pee Pants bursts in, firing two uzis at you and eating the Teletubby. You notice the dried corpses of Master Shake and Carl dangling from a piece of spider's web hanging off of MC Pee Pants's leg! You also notice the Mooninites are riding on his back, firing their moon lasers and flipping you off. Then, Meta Knight cuts the Mooninites in half as Solid Snake tosses a grenade into MC Pee Pant's mouth. Then, Meatwad uses his All-Powerful Jambox to destroy Bowser and Waluigi. Frylock proceeds to disintegrate a group of Shadow Squirrels with his awesome lasers. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Yoshimitsu rushes into a crowd of zombie elves and decapitates them all with his katana.

Captain Obvious obviously fires round after round of extreme sarcasm at the hordes of grues attacking him, which explode as they collide with eurgs. Nuclear explosions shake the Hall of the Stargate as the bloodbath continues. Looking beside you, you see the unconcious form of Jimmy Neutron as Mothgrues begin to feast on him.

Meanwhile Angus Young begins to play a kickass guitar solo for no apparent reason.

In a last, desperate attempt, your friend and ally Dopefish tries to keep the intelligence temporarily granted him in 5 pages ago, but instead swims away and eats something. The Magic School Bus turns into a WOMD and creates a magic mushroom cloud. A pig dies in the explosion.

> mourn

But you have no time to mourn, for Dr. Fu Manchu, taking advantage of your inactivity, throws another flurry of shuriken, narrowly missing you but wounding Babe Ruth for 48 damage. Lumpy the Heffalump suddenly charges into battle, narrowly missing the attacks of a crazed tank engine and is suddenly mortally wounded by extreme sarcasm. Tigger follows on his heels, as he pulls out his assault rifle and plasma rifle (dual-wielded). Homer Simpson just leaves and has a drink. Ironhide and Bumblebee use Doubleteam to revive Pikachu and Squidward, who charge towards Hitler and Roley the Steamroller, resulting in the latest giant explosions.

But the tables soon turn as Santa Claus, having taken control of Herbie the Love Bug, runs over Princess Peach and Spider-Man, mortally wounding the two strongest members of your party. Peach tries to use Group Hug, but since that move only existed in Super Mario RPG, she instead does nothing. Starscream and a kangaroo smack into her, as her corpse fades into nonexistence. Bumblebee gets pissed and shoots Herbie. Herbie a splodes. Before Dopefish can eat a satanic moose, a misfired shot from Harry Potter's shotgun ends his life quickly. In the confusion, Squidward is mauled to death by a wild sea-bear. You feel despair overtake you.

Behind you you see Calvin and Hobbes with Spongebob Squarepants, next to Spongebob is his friend Patrick and all of them are equipped with lightsabers, sword-chucks, AK-47s, and traffic cones. As they fight giant anime robots, they are all killed by your mom.

What the fuck are you going to do now?

> inv

You have a brass lantern (providing light), the light cannon, a can of compressed air, a tattoo reading "Sweet" (added while drunk), a Ring of Max SP, the Kerrek's Belt (being worn), a batch of grumblecakes, half of a grilled cheese sandwitch (being eaten), a Babelfish (in left ear), a sultana, a keychain, a gorilla suit (being worn), the G-string of Aphrodite (being worn), the Stone of Shame (shackled to leg), a monkey's paw (no wishes remaining), the Pot of Gold, the Autobot Matrix of Leadership (unopened), the Beautiful Painting, the Brass Bauble, the Egyptian Sceptre, the Wrath of the Black Manta (being wrought), the Solid Gold Coffin, the soul of an orphan, the Trunk of jewels, the Crystal trident, the Jade figurine, the Sapphire bracelet (being worn), a fire extinguisher, the USS Saratoga, a Heffalump, the Huge diamond, the Bag of coins, the oddly shaped pebbles you found, a Archeoptyrex fossil (found in Germany) the Crystal skull, the Jeweled scarab, the Large emerald, the unobtainable jewel (obtained), the Silver chalice, the Jewel-encrusted egg, the Clockwork canary, Mutton-Chops (being worn), the second biggest monkey head you've ever seen, the Platinum Utility Ladder, the Sword that is Still Broken, the Ivory torch (also providing light), and the +250,000 elven elfin slaxe-chucks of great antiquity (weapon in hand). Oh yeah, you also have a stick of gum.