Fuck you

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Fuck you. There are several reasons why it is the case that you should be fucked. Debate continues as to which of these reasons is the most significant; however, scientists are in general agreement that all you motherfuckers are gonna pay.

Reasons that this is the case[edit]

Fuck you for reading this article.

You've been biting my style.[edit]

You know how you made holes in your pants pocket to play with your balls? Well, fuck you. I did that first, motherfucker. I'm the one who made that cool. And now, when I go to the clubs, all the the bitches are all like, "Wow, you look just like that one guy!" Well, you know what? I am that one guy, motherfucker. You're the one biting my style. So fuck you.

Your driving annoys me.[edit]

Who do you think you are to cut me off in traffic? Huh? You aren't an ambulance, a police officer, or a fireman, that's for sure. I can see it's only you in the car so I know you're not driving anybody to the hospital. So who do you think you are big shot? Well fuck you.

Your rejoinders are occasionally incorrect.[edit]

Don't deny it fucknut. I was there when Joe said "What's up?", and you replied, "Swimmingly!" Do you have any idea how fucking lame that made you sound? Rest assured that next time I hear you make a similar error, I will belittle you until you can't stand up straight for a week. That's right: fuck you.

You mistakenly asserted that Las Vegas is the capital of Nevada.[edit]

Jesus Christ, everyone knows the fucking capital of Nevada is Area 51, not Las Vegas. Where were you in tenth grade? Probably off licking some hobo's armpit for hentai money. Well, you know what? Fuck you.

Your bench press is pathetic.[edit]

90 fucking pounds? My seven-year-old sister can put up 90 pounds! And I don't buy your lame-ass fucking excuse about that being 80% of your fucking body weight. You're a scrawny little fuck, but you ain't that fucking skinny! In conclusion, you helium-huffing motherfucker: fuck you.

You snicker when someone farts.[edit]

It was funny when we were KIDS. You're in your 20s now. Get a fucking life.

You shower in your underwear at the gym.[edit]

C'mon, what are you, gay? Some kind of pussy? Be a man already! Nobody's going to look at your junk you little wuss!

You're always sucking out on the river.[edit]

What kind of asshole bets a jack high with three spades, and after I clearly picked up my ace, no less? Oh, wait, what's this? Spade on the turn. Of course. And... another spade on the river. Jesus Christ. You fucking asshole. You probably think you're being cool when you hit fifteen against a five and don't bust, too. You probably think the whole table just wants to take you out to dinner. Actually, the table's thinking what I'm thinking: Fuck you.

Your ringtone is loud and obnoxious.[edit]

I will take your cell phone and shove it down your goddamn throat if you don't turn the volume down while I am trying to watch Tom Hanks. Fuck you!

I don't like you[edit]

What did you expect?



See Also[edit]

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