Fluff

:'(

Fluff is annoying and is a word. This word is usually a noun, but can be conjugated to adjectives (fluffy, fwuffy), a verb (to fluff, to fluff up), an interjection (FLUFF!) or the definite article (the).

Fluff as a Noun

• womans vagum*

Fluff is a collective noun and describes the teeny, widdly bits of hairy and scaly things that break off and become free objects in the environment. It’s extremely annoying, But I love it anyway. Common places to find fluff, and their sources of fluff, include:

Location	Source
Pockets	Pockets
Belly-buttons (innies only)	Clothes
Corners	Clothes, Skin, Insects
Nooks	Old plaster, Crumbly bricks, Dead bees
Crannies	See above, Clothes
Fluffernutters	Your Mom
Under beds	Don't ask
Underbeds	What is an underbed?

Accumulation

Fluff tends to induce annoyance in humans. This is mainly because it accumulates. Accumulation of fluff may happen for a number of reasons. Perhaps the fluff feels oppressed and then the need to group together, forming tight cliques. Maybe there’s a party in your pocket and everyfluff’s invited (stupid, pointless joke). One commonly held belief in medieval England was that the Devil lives in secluded places and fluff is his excrement.

When fluff accumulates, it is transformed from inconsequential small, usually invisible, items into ridiculously annoying clumps, that must somehow survive on my SHORT TEMPER!

Some fluff accumulation can lead to the existance of dust bunnies and from there, they can become misleadingly fluffier and therefore more ravenous than even the fluffiest kitten. BEWARE OF DUST BUNNIES!

‘Fluff’ Becomes an Adjective

An animal that is ‘fluffy’ is generally not thought to be cute or cuddly because that is what furry is, fluffy means RUN FOR IT!!! or AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! or even both. More on that later. Or never.

SEE! 'Fluff' is Majickally Transformede Into a Verbe!

To 'fluff' something is a term used in the disgusting pornography industry. Yuck, it's horrible. Looking at naked people doing nasty stuff to pillows? Lets not go there.

Fluffer

A Fluffer keeps the pornstar looking his best till they,ve finished filming. That means keeping him sexually aroused and cleaning up any mess.

Gentleman fluffer or lady flufferess

According to Wikipedia at least one fluffer was a man. Perhaps a man can more easily stop a straight pornstar cumming too soon. Most straight pornstars would undoubtedly prefer an attractive lady flufferess.

Warning! If you are a straight male Uncyclopedian and have ambitions to become a pornstar you might get your penis fluffed by a gay man!

The London Incident

London Fire and Rescue dealt with over 400 calls as fluff returned to the city with a vengeance at the weekend. Dozens of Londoners were yesterday involved in a huge sweep-up operation, and the army was called in in some areas to help with the business of cleaning. "This was a one in 150 years event," said a spokescouncillor, "although I may have to check the books, as this is the third time since 1993." Roads and schools were closed as the fluff took hold on Thursday morning. By 1pm, Hyde Park was six inches deep, and by the evening large areas of the city were up to their letterboxes in fluff. An Environment Agency press statement confirmed that "we are aware of the problem, sweetcakes, and will look into it real soon."

Residents' Comments

But as usual, this isn't enough for some people. "Fluff has ruined our home twice since we moved here," screamed blue-faced churchwarden Mo Watmough, known locally, who said the weekend had been more than she could stand. "You have to understand, it's about time someone took a stand." "My cat choked," added juggler Apple 'Mac' McIntosh, "and my dog only got out alive because she was up high when the fluff started to overwhelm. Estimates put the weekend's damage up to and including £60,000. Fluff insurance experts are predicting a huge rise in premiums, which they advise people to pay. One resident left counting the profit was a shrewd local grandmother Mrs Elise Elsinore, 82, who, eight years ago, placed an each way bet on it being a fluffy November. Some roads are not expected to be liberated until the end of the week. Londoners now have the difficult task of deciding what preparations should be prepared for any further un-seasonal build ups of fluff. The Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, has already advocated a series of velcro fences along the main routes into the city, but the City Council thinks its pilot scheme of static-electric milk floats will work better.