Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 9

February 9: International Tourettes Day

• 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to LOLCAT their LOLCAT with a LOLCAT.
• 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, LOLCAT happens.
• 1222 - LOLCAT.
• 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets LOLCAT.
• 1812 - Canada and The United States go to LOLCAT war. Nobody LOLCAT notices.
• 1914 - Throngs of tourists visit the US on this day only to find it is actually LOLCAT Tourettes Day. They LOLCAT stay, because they feel like they are in LOLCAT Paris.
• 1960 - Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spews out.
• 1965 - Wham-O's Superball is introduced and becomes a runaway hit, because people love to play with balls.
• 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to LOLCAT fall asleep.
• 2006 - Dick Cheney gets on stage with Aerosmith to sing Cheney's Got a Gun. LOLCAT.
• 2008 - Steve LOLCAT Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to LOLCATING KILL™ them instead.
• 2009 - Kanye West is sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME, DOG.
• 2010 - Taylor Swift wins at the VMA's again, except this time when Kanye West tries to bring his drunken ass up, she punches him in the nose, where he then falls on Beyoncé, who is so surprised, she screams. This alerts her bodyguards, who then tackle Kanye West and beat the crap out of him. That night he succumbs to his injuries, and Taylor Swift goes back up to the microphone. "I'm sorry, y'all, but Michael Jackson had one of the best deaths of all time! Of all time!"