Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 6

December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland)

• 863 - Jackals start having trouble with their night vision and build the first jackal lanterns.
• 1865 - The USA ends slavery; it immediately outsources slave labor to China at $0.06/hr and Mexico at a variable rate.
• 1901 - Chicago woman gives birth to Walt Disney, who immediately sues her for copyright infringement.
• 1910 - The puzzle potato is nearly shoplifted by Winona Ryder from Lester B. Pearson's flaxen wool-works store. The event will be made into hit a movie starring Gary Coleman as Winona Ryder.
• 1962 - An assassin only known as "The Jackal" shoots Charles de Gaulle, with the bullet passing harmlessly through the latter's head.
• 1967 - The word "pwned" finally reaches its expiration date, according to the recently-unearthed original packaging. Despite that, nobody stops using the word.
• 1969 - Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to play Calvinball on the Moon, outsmarting opponent and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin by chanting an immunity poem (see: One Small Step) and planting his flag, automatically earning himself 144 Elephant gnuts and claiming the rank of "Duke of Ham Sandwich". Some debate the legality of this play, questioning whether Armstrong was wearing his black mask under his space helmet, but Armstrong has silenced most of their criticisms through clever use of "Jinx!"
• 1975 - William Herbert explains Reimann symmetry in a quasi-formatic manifold to sea lions at a Dutch park.
• 1979 - The United Kingdom realizes Donkey Kong as a threat.
• 1982 - A law is passed in Botswana that not only legalizes but encourages the use of the bong.
• 1984 - A Botswanian man mixes a dangerous cocktail of toxic waste, Windex, triple-ply toilet paper and leprechaun s'mores in his bong. The resulting smokes endow the man with the power to light his middle finger ablaze when using it for insult. In response, local Botswanians are quoted as saying, "Hmm."
• 2310 - Sea lions begin developing science labs to discuss the great science god, William Herbert.