Dany Simard

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Dany Simard (née Gros Jambon) is a famous Canadian linguist and phonoaudiologist known to have inspired all the alien languages in cinema history for the past 15 years. It is highly suspected that Dany Simard is a legitimate and confirmed abductee from which he learned about outer space dialects most notably. Today it is widely rumoured that he works as a security guard but makes no use of his walkie-talkie as he believes it is only on him as a decoration and not work tool.

With his impressive IQ of 49, he has often exceeded his entourages' expectations of moronism and articulation especially when describing an audible alarm coming from the ceiling. Surprisingly enough, he has often been approached by intelligence agencies such as CBI, WAR, CSIS, NSA, FBI, MI6 but refused as the schedules did not meet his requirements.

During the course of his despicable existence, monsieur Simard was once of the best marksmen of Canada's elite military unit, JTF2. With 0.2 confirmed kills (that being a fly that happened to in front of his rifle's barrel); he is a man of many powers and secrets. He was once approached by agents of CSIS but abruptly refused the request as he deemed the job was too easy for him.

In 2017 he became part of an elite squadron of gate openers who were responsible of opening doors or performing 10-15's. His decades of experience in the intelligence agencies, military and other secretive jobs he has gained an important characteristic that not many people today has: humble.

In 1985, Dany Simard took part in the disclosed martial arts competition known as the kumite. Out of the 2000 fighters that took part, Dany Simard was the only one to emerge as the sole survivor and champion. He also was 1986, -87, -88, -89, and 90s champion. He did not attend the championship of 1991 as he took part in Operation Desert Storm with the US Navy Seals. Immediately after he was sent for cover-ops throughout Africa until the late 90s where he would be deployed in southern Asia to train troops from Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and Philippines. He returned to Canada in 2000 but was later sent to Afghanistan in 2002 following the 9/11 events. It is here where he earned one of his nicknames deemed: Minister of Death. He spent a total of five tours in a row in Afghanistan before returning to Canada where he'd take part in bingo competitions as well as bowling.

Somewhere in the early 2010s, he took a security agent course as he deemed it was time to have a change in profession and became known as the CHUM's top 37-spotter. On a day alone he managed to detect over 40 10-37's lurking in and about the Viger entrance and like any great security guard he stood idle like a lamp post and informed his brother-in-arm, post 106 that they were headed towards him.