In the beginning, some big guys with mostly well-paying legal jobs got together once a year to ride beaten-up BMW motorcycles fifty laps around the continental USA. Eventually, an organization called L'Association de la Derrière de Fer (ADF) was formed, leading rapidly to 150-lap rides involving the destruction of countless busloads of nuns.
Connected loosely to ADF was the e-mail discussion list known as "AD Riders." The discussions were always thoughtful, well-reasoned, and civilized, until a certain faction came to find the list. Yea verily, these interlopers were also motorcycle riders, but they were cheapskates for the most part, and never knew when to shut up. A school teacher-slash-Hell's Angel by the name of Moses banished these people, calling them Chatty Morons.
These Morons, being of puerile humor at best, took the name "Chatty Morons" to heart, starting a new email list open only to the most vacuous minds in motorcycledom.
Current Modus Operandi
They have the characteristics of being sarcastic, cynical, chatty, intelligent, witty, Extremely Handsome and Beautiful, Erin Lovers, able to endure long distances on a motorcycle saddle, able to cook up a storm and they use the word FUCK uncontrollably and in the most creative ways. They are endurance motorcyclists, rally masters, rally supports, givers to charity, and (wo)men about town; Puting on the Ritz.
It's common to find them bitchslapping pretenders on the LDRider list and the US Marines are studying their psy-ops ferverently.
They are also all masters of the cowbell; each and every one of them a virtuoso.
Their system of government embodies the best of governments across the world or at least it appears so since they have Ministers, Secretaries and Royalty. However, they do NOT embrace unanimity in their decision making because they would resemble a Polish Parliament if they did. Instead, each one seems to either take leadership on an issue or the subject dies a horrible, gasping, cynical death.
Too often, they either agree with themselves to death, self-congratulate too much or get so annoyed at themselves and the world that they snap and lash out at each other for no fucking good reason whatsoever. No one is immune from this affliction. Not a single damn one of them. Except maybe The Admirable. Especially not Rafters and Several Toes, who piss everyone off on a regular basis. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that, mind you. (Rafters: "Hey, everyone needs a hobby...")
There are several members in self-imposed exile who remain in good standing. There are also several members in group-imposed exile who are, with any luck at all, writhing in eternal discomfort.
Sadly, they miss Ron and Duke.
- Strangely, a common sigline is TAiaP. Something the NSA continues to try to break as code.
- Chatty Morons often greet each other with the letters SMG.
- Various Morons have devised new and clever ways to torture otherwise normal motorcyclists. Some of these events:
- Tepid Water Alongside Texas (TWAT)
- Texas Two-Step (TTSIAVBRTWLAESDRIBWIIF)
- Tirebutt (held in Middle Carolina every year and at great expense)
- Several members have been secretly executed over the years for being insufficiently moronic
- Chatty Morons do not worship the Devil, however they do agree with several things he says
- If you have us$1 million kicking about and nothing to do with it, the Chatty Morons have quite a deal for you
- They appear to love chorus lines
- One ChattyMoron owns a SchlmaaartCar. Other SchlmaartCars have been spotted in the kitchen but they keep scattering like cockroaches when the lights are turned on in the clubhouse.
- Another is a fan of the Georgia Pekingnese Football Team.
- Still another mixes the finest Boodles Gin & Tonic ever made.
- The Love Kate is All Wise and All Knowing.
- The Minister of Miles owns an extremely low mileage Honda ST1100.
- The Minister of Propaganda appears to have pulled a DB Cooper and parachuted into Siberia using an Aeroflot Tu-154 and a prayer and is now being held hostage by Russian Mafia. The Chatty Morons so far refuse to pay it.