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Bungee (B9U238NtityGe31415926Es27182818) is a polymerous resin with many remarkable physical properties.

Remarkable physical properties[edit]

Bungee is the only substance known to Mankind that repels gravitons (other than the element upsidaisium). It is slightly denser than Cheez Whiz, and almost as bouncy bouncy boingy bouncy boingy.

Diffractional analysisesises[edit]

Diffractional analysisesises of bungee by prestigious scientific types who lurk inside stuffy laboratorial labs have recently revealed that each molecule of bungee is coiled like a slithery serpent ready to strike at me like a deadly poisonous snakE sNAKE, SNakE AAUUGGHH!! SnAKE! ITS A SNakE!!! AaaAUUghghhHH! :-(


Bungee comes from the ooziferous sap of the mighty bungee tree (Arborae boingius), which is native to the tropical fruitopia of the mighty Fiji Island Empire. It is regularly harvested by the native Fijians by using a pointed stick to bore a tiny hole into the trunk of a fully-mature bungee tree. The tree immediately explodes in a shellfish selfish act of self-defense, showering everything within 500 meters with alarming quantities of delicious sticky bungee syrup and foul-tasting bungee seeds. The valuable raw ooze is then collected by Fijioon children, whilst singing joyous and ribald bungee-syrup-gathering labor shanties, to be processed and purified in primitive wooden industrial vats, poured into primitive wooden barrels, and then launched into low Earth orbit on primitive wooden space shuttles where it is stored for the future use of all Mankind.

Manufacturizing stuff[edit]

Bungee is used in the manufacturization of many futuristic space-age products such as Silly String™, Silly Putty™, Silly Strudél™, spaghetti, toilet plungers, Grover Cleveland, and bungee-flavored condoms.

See also[edit]