Brendan Fraser
Brendan James "JUST Cut My Hair Life Into Pieces" Fraser (born December 3, 1968) is a Canuck–American bumbling-yet-charming actor who, in his prime, starred in such films as The Mummy, Encino Man, Brendan of the Jungle, Brendanzzled, Space Jam 2: Back in Action, and the Journey to the Center of the Earth remake Journey to the Pits of the Fake CGI Dinosaurs and Faker Bottomless Pits.
Fraser formerly had self-described "beefy good looks", but after losing much of his alimony to his wife in a divorce settlement, his life and career spiraled down into a pit of despair and he lost his good looks and good money. Luckily, with the support of his fans, he is attempting to climb out of his alimony-filled hole.
Career[edit]
Brendan (we are on a first-name basis) is renowned for his poignant acting in scathing social critiques. These include the tale of a misplaced youth in a foreign society (George of the Jungle, 1997), a controversial religious thriller (Bedazzled, 2000), a series of historical documentaries (The Mummy, 1999; The Mummy Returns, 2002; and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, 2008), and finally a chilling insight into the 1960s popular attitude towards the Cold War and nuclear warfare (Blast from the Past, 1999). He also starred in a feel-good, laugh-out-loud, comedy success-of-the-year production: The Quiet American, 2002.
In 2005, Fraser opened his home to paying female guests, offering a tour called 168 Hours with Brendan Fraser. On the tour, guests would give Brendan back-rubs, wax his body from head to toe, and listen to him reciting his entire autobiography wherein he needed six attempts to correctly pronounce the words "bonafide thespian". This tour would later attract controversy and lead to the demise of Fraser's career.
Personal troubles[edit]
Fraser met actress Rachel Weisz while attending a barbecue at Winona Ryder's house in 1998. The two were later cast as a loving couple in the Mummy movies, and decided to go one step further by actually getting married in real life. Later, Weisz discovered the existence of the 168 Hours with Brendan Fraser tour, and was outraged to find that her husband had been cheating on her. The two divorced in 2007, and Fraser lost a great deal of his fortune in the alimony settlement; the effects of this on Fraser can be in the leftward photo.
In 2003, Fraser was sexually assaulted by Philip Berk, then-president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association; this scarred him for the rest of his life. Fraser was blacklisted by Hollywood after he accused Berk, while the one who did the assaulting got off scot-free, showing what a twisted world we live in.
Recently however, Fraser has been recovering from his terrible life and is reviving his career with the DC Comics series Doom Patrol.