Blue smoke

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Blue smoke, as explained by xander: "First off, you are mistaken if you believe that "electricity" is used to power your devices. What you think of as electricity is actually blue smoke. Blue smoke is produced in factories all over the world. Most of them use mined black smoke ore (coal or oil) to produce the smoke, while some use uranium. If you watch these factories, you can see some of the byproducts of smoke production, in the form of black smoke or steam. Currently scientists are working on ways of creating blue some using the wind (they capture very, very small particles of blue smoke using windmills), water (blue smoke is filtered out of rivers by dams), and "solar" (this one is really very complicated).

Once the blue smoke has been refined from black smoke ore, it is transmitted from place to place using power lines. Now, as to how the blue smoke is contained: this is actually a remarkable piece of mechanical engineering. When you plug in a device, it opens a couple of small valves in the socket, allowing blue smoke to travel down the wire in your hand. There is another set of valves in the wire that keep the blue smoke from escaping.

Devices stop working when the blue smoke is allowed to escape. This is because the smoke must be kept at pressure in order to do its job. If it escapes, then the pressure drops, and the device stops working. You can easily demonstrate this by pouring water over an operating computer.

NeoThermic goes on further to explain: "If one is skilled enough, one can add the blue smoke back into the device, but it depends on what aspect of the pressure changed to make it escape. Remember Pv= nRT. If you change the temperature, or the number of molicules in the blue smoke, you change the pressure. That can cause major problems, but if you can reset it all back to when it was working and re-add the blue smoke, sometimes, just sometimes, it might just work."

The Uses of Blue Smoke[edit]

Blue smoke can be used to create white smoke, orange smoke or black smoke. When the world was shown who would be the next Pope after Pope John Paul II's death, The Vatican used blue smoke to signal the souvenir shop was open. This historic scene ushered in 13,000 people in the next 5 days into that shop and the Vatican made over €36,000 in that short period.

'Blue Smoke Gives you Wings!'[edit]

Some conspirators argue that blue smoke can give you wings. This is merely a theory but they say that the complex hydrocarbons found in blue smoke have a special property that can activate hidden wings known as the appendix in the species Homo Sapiens.

This theory is backed up in full by Dr. Howard Grenard, a prolific writer of the merits of various colours of smoke on our hidden organs. For example, pink smoke can cause the heart to move up through the body and join the head. This rare condition happened to people such as Bananaman and The Baby with Three Heads.

The Origin of Blue Smoke[edit]

Blue smoke is thought to have come from a cave in Southern Tír Na Noog. Tir Na Noog, also known as Bouncy Land, developed not only blue smoke but also the atomic bomb, the leprechaun and the Peach Melba. The story of blue smoke creation in the Bluesmokeible says:

"And from the ground rose the smoke. The smoke lost a rib and this rib became blue. Blue smoke was born in the cave of Southern Tir Na Noog. In the cave was a forbidden pebble."

Noel Coward said 'If you touch the forbidden pebble I will kick you out of the beautiful post-modern minimalist cave and in the general direction of France.' Extremely worried by this, blue smoke vowed not to touch the forbidden pebble.

But then along came the Klu Klux Klan, and they persuaded the blue smoke to touch the forbidden pebble. Blue smoke did so and so Oscar Wilde said 'That's it, you're off to France!' and they were kicked out of the cave in Southern Tir Na Noog and in the general direction of France.


Blue smoke is quite possibly the greatest smoke in the world, and if it isn't it certainly comes close. Blue smoke can help cure a grey day but be warned not to mix it without expert health, nobody wants hamster rabies!

The image shown reveals the true form of blue smoke: [[1]]