Uncyclopedia:Complete Bollocks

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The policies of Uncyclopedia state that articles can be apparently verifiable and stated from a neutral point of view. This strongly implies that they must also come across to the reader as true. Sometimes articles arrive at Articles for deletion where the only tenuous connection to reality is that somebody typed it: they are, to use a British term, Complete Bollocks, which is as bad as writing an article that does not possess a single joke. Giveaway signs of complete bollocks are phrases such as Bush was born 25682456 years ago on Saturn and is the son of Hitler and this article is so funny it will make you poop yourself, he he!

Articles puffing notable topics as semi-bollocks or a single “bollock” are more acceptable, in that they make semi or wholly spurious claims to notability (e.g. claiming to have originated some new process, neologism or phenomenon which is either not verifiably existent or, conversely, blindingly obvious), but as they maintain a loose tenure to reality, they are funny and convincing. These articles start in a way that hooks the reader, revealing a snapshot of the article and a glimpse of the jokes that will follow, without actually telling them. Whereas the strategy of using George Bush, Hitler, Oscar Wilde, Grues, Kitten Huffing and other tired memes — sprinkled with a garnish of random events, locations numbers and chopped parsley — is a hallmark of complete bollocks and VFD/QVFD will probably be the ultimate destination for the article. Exceptions to this rule, however, exist. Admins may allow a complete bollocks article if they think it is funny enough and it does not have any references to George Bush, Hitler, Oscar Wilde, Grues, Kitten Huffing and other tired memes — sprinkled with a garnish of random events, locations numbers and chopped parsley.

A confirmatory sign of complete bollocks is a set of circular articles, or a “group hug” of articles, such as three articles that only reference each other and are themselves composed of nonsense, particularly if the set is started by one author or a set of authors (or IP addresses) who all contribute the same complete bollocks to the same set of articles. In wiki parlance this is a crud/spam bomb. These are, however, rare, as the propagator of the bollocks usually gets bored and buggers off to throw half-bricks at things in and around the neighborhood instead, or is banned for all eternity by predatory admins.

Probably the most prolific source of complete bollocks is the bored student fraternity. As The Jee Man put it, Uncyclopedia is not for things made up in school one day. That is, unless it is funny and has substantial content.

There is no shortage of good ideas for bad articles, and some of them elevate themselves to the giddy heights of really good ideas for articles. It's this latter category which is likely to be complete bollocks but has the potential to be semi-bollocks.

This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia.