Arthur Meighen

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“I f***ing love Robert Borden so much.”

~ Arthur Meighen

“I'm on a boat bitch! Take a good hard look at the mother-f***ing boat!”

~ Meighen on his Prime Ministership

Arthur "Andrew Jackson" Meighen
Rank: 83rd
Period in Office 1921, 1926. 2008
Predecessor: Rap Master Robby B.
Successor: King of Canada
Date of Birth: March 5, 1801
Place of Birth: Dallas, Texas
Spouse: Mrs. Arthur Meighen
Political Party: Unionist/Conservative/Future Shop Employee

Little do citizens of Canada know that Arthur Meighen was actually the Prime Minister of their country, twice! Most Canadians, when Meighen is mentioned, shrug and say "who? Is he the dude in the Canadian Tire commercials?" Meighen's periods in office are considered quite successful by many historians, mainly because he didn't have the time to do anything productive. Many consider him to be Canada's best P.M. saying "well, at least he didn't do anything to screw up the country." How many two-time prime ministers can say this? Huh, none. Probably because they were in office longer than two weeks.

Early life[edit]

Arthur James dickhead Byron Tyler Alonzo Hale Anne Ken Lawrence Jordan Eric John Arthur Martin Christopher Patrick Jennifer Jonathan Meighen was born to his parents in before his death. He grew up on a small dirt and diamond farm in southern Texas, until he moved to Northern North Ontario at the age of 3 and a quarter. His parents died shortly after they moved in a car crash. He was then forced to live with his great great uncle and great great great great aunt Tony and Beth. At the age of eleven, he was elected to the Canadian House of Commons for the riding of Upper Upper Juniper in Western New Brunswick. He was then appointed the Minister of Heath by then Prime Minister, John Sparrow David Thompson.

Political rise[edit]

During his time in the Cabinet of Robert Laird Borden he planned his rise to power. His plan was to position the Prime Minister at a dinner date with him in the outskirts of Toronto. However, World War One was happening at the time and Borden did not have time to go on a dinner date with this pointless backbencher. But luck was on his side when Borden retired and he was appointed new leader of the Conservatives and, therefore, Prime Minister. This shocked the public as they did not know the office of Prime Minister existed.

Meighen vacationing in the Northwest Territories during his second stint as P.M.

Two terms as Prime Minister[edit]

Borden spent most of his time as Prime Minister not being it. However, even though his terms as P.M are short, one cannot overlook the important legislation Borden brought to the country. They are as follows:

  • Brought Alberta and Saskatchewan into confederation (wait, that was Laurier)
  • Old age pensions and universal healthcare (no, that was King and Pearson)
  • built a railway to the pacific ocean (oops, Macdonald)
  • and signed the free trade agreement with the United States (oh, right, that was Mulroney)

But seriously, he did do many great things for Canada, such as:

  • The introduction of closure which would never, ever, be abused by any party in power... EVER!
  • be the only Prime Minister to be situated in Manitoba, that must count for something?
  • personally fought off the invading aliens from Pluto
  • passed laws declaring he was a God
  • drank 98 beers on a bet by Sir John A. Macdonald
  • be the only Prime Minister to lose his own seat when his party wins an election... unless you count King, but that would involve thinking about King.

Preceded by:
Robert Laird Borden
Prime Minister of Canada
Succeeded by:
William Lyon Mackenzie King
Preceded by:
William Lyon Mackenzie King
Prime Minister of Canada
1926 to that same year
Succeeded by:
William Lyon Mackenzie King