Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 5

April 5: National Bullying Day (Scotland), International Batman is Gay Day

• c.3 million BCE - Cave man push down 'nother cave man. Second cave man get big brother, who push down first cave man. First cave man get his big brother, who push down second cave man brother. Second cave man brother about to push first cave man brother back but is stopped by vice principal and get suspended from cave man school. Second cave man then write about this on cave wall, make first Chinese martial arts movie script.
• 1614 - Pocahontas sells her life story to Disney for a handful of plastic beads.
• 1640 - King Charles I of England disbands the Short Parliament because "Who cares what happens to short people?"
• 1776 - Betty White is born. Her sons Barry and Jaleel would go on to stardom.
• 1945 - USSR deploys troops in Yugoslavia to act as security at TATU gig.
• 1951 - Bob Hope gets laid. Again.
• 1955 - Winston Churchill gives up politics and goes into insurance.
• 1957 - Batman is born. His mother is severely chafed by his utility belt during delivery.
• 1979 - Robin contracts Bat-AIDs. His story is told in song: "I am stuck on Bat-AIDS, cuz Bat-AIDS's stuck on me."
• 1980 - Bat-Condoms are patented by Bruce Wayne.
• 1992 - Several hundred thousand abortion rights demonstrators march on top of babies in Washington D.C..
• 2000 - Global warming is first linked to the phenomenon of climate change.
• 2007 - Everyone remembers how totally gay Batman was.