Arachno-capitalism
Arachno-capitalism (aka bananarchy) is the economic and political system that combines the egalitarian lack of government in arachnism and the free market private property in capitalism.
History[edit]
Arachno-capitalism was created when Murray Rothbard and Milton Friedman got drunk in a bar. After talking about harmless stuff like kittens and huffing, they began to talk about arachnism. They then started to realize that arachnism was correct about government, but that capitalism wasn't that bad. After waking up together the next morning, they decide to market their philosophy.
They would go around telling the people of their new discovery and writing books that gave them fame. Soon, however, traditional arachnists decided that Murray and Milton were threats to the philosophy. Milton ran off, denying any relations with arachno-capitalism. The next day, Murray was nailed to a cross until he died. However, he was resurrected three days later. There was also a war (see below).
To this day, many people in the arachnist and libertarian circles identify with the arachno-capitalist philosophy, including notable YouTube vlogger Stefan "Holy Moly" Molyneux.
Criticism[edit]
Many arachnists have seen issues with the school of thought. Their main argument is that capitalist free markets are rising global warming and causing the spiders, on which the ideology is based on, to die. Arachno-capitalists refute this debate by saying that the spiders could be put into private zoos for safety, and that the spiders don't need to be alive for arachnism to be practiced.
Wall Street has been worried about this philosophy as the government has been known to bail them out. Arachno-capitalists have yet to debunk them as those who attempt to do so usually commit suicide.
Many people have a problem with the fact that arachno-capitalism allows selling drugs to children and human trafficking. While some ar-caps will point out these things break the non-aggression principle, many will reply with a simple "Is that so wrong?!"
Civil War[edit]
In the 21th century, arachno-capitalists couldn't agree if pizza worked best with root beer or chocolate milk. This escalated into a civil war between Chockies and Rooties. It would last ten years and cause thousands of casualties; its atrocities can challenge those of the Vietnam War.
Battle of Londonistan[edit]
This was the final battle in the war and the only recorded war, as both sides were horrible at keeping track of their battles.
The Chockies launched a surprise attack on the Rooties, and then a battle would pursue. After an hour of fighting, the Rootie Air Force dropped a nuclear bomb on the battle, killing all foot soldiers. This lead many to assume that Rooties had won the war.