Adrian Edmondson
“Fuck off you girl!”
“Right, that's it!”
Adrian ("Ade") Edmondson is a notorious spokesman on alcohol abuse who is featured on public-service programmes such as The Young Ones and Bottom. He is a man to be feared and respected, or at least feared, a man without boundaries, owing to his wholly German roots (although he tends to keep his blood-relation to Adolf Hitler quiet), which may also have contributed to his alcoholism, which may have contributed to his delusions of being a badarse.
Early Life[edit]
Ade Edmondson was born in 1957 to a super-heavyweight champion wrestler named Adolf Edondson. according to him. His father, on the other hand, was a soldier. Adolf Edmondson would drink and smoke all day while Ade went outside to play in the dark in the streets of Bradford. The young Adrian befriended another schoolboy whose father owned a branch of brewers, pubs and off-licences around England, who would give the young boys "free samples" of alcohol. The man insisted that according to science, the youngest drinking age is five, and so he was technically not braking the law in any way.
Throughout his years in primary school, Ade would often show up drunk for his lessons. His teachers constantly complained, but headmaster Victor Edmondson (who endlessly maintained that there was no relation) would ignore the teachers. When one teacher caught Mr Edmondson handing Ade a bottle (quoting the headmaster as saying "Here you go, nephew"), the teacher was coincidentally fired "for other reasons". When Edmondson moved to secondary school, his uncle sorry, former headmaster would regularly "donate" large wads of cash to the school, which "improved" their education standards enough to give Adrian higher results.
Meeting Rik Mayall[edit]
When he was 21, Ade woke up with a hangover (which he was partially immune to by now), and could not remember what had gone on the previous night. Turning over, Ade hoped that in his drunken state he would have nailed whatever English model was famous back then. Instead, he found out he had signed on to study Drama at the University of Manchester. When he entered the University to explain, they told him they thought his impression of a drunk was amazing, as well as his refusal to break character. Ade went along with this, and would drink heavily before every performance. It was there that Ade first met future comedy partner Rik Mayall.
Career[edit]
Early Career[edit]
Rik and Ade would go on to form many double acts. They originally starred in the Young Ones and although it made them famous, they were actually kept under strict control by Ben Elton, who himself reaped the hundred-thousands of pounds while Rik, Ade, Christopher Ryan, and Nigel Planner would draw attention to the show, along with stand-up comedian Alexei Sayle. The show's popularity became so big it was hard for Ben Elton to control the stars like puppets. The Young Ones was ended after 12 episodes as a desperate solution, and Ben Elton would pick out Rik, Ade and Nigel to create Filthy Rich and Catflap. Ben Elton found out he was still losing his grip on the stars and couldn't blackmail them any longer. Leaping on the opportunity, the five brutally assaulted Ben Elton and took back their copyrights. Ben Elton crawled away, severely injured, and was found by the crew of Not the Nine O'Clock News lying in an alleyway covered in blood. Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson would go on to create the second season of Blackadder with this poor soul. Realising his mistake, Ben Elton changed his ways and Blackadder was a success.
Rik and Ade, however, were now left without a writer, and had to improvise. Literally. With retarded haircuts, Rik and Ade would star as the Dangerous Brothers on the British version of Saturday Night Live, called Saturday Live. These sketches would involve Rik making Ade go through agonising "stunts" set up by Mayall himself. Sketches included setting Ade on fire and visiting a torture chamber to test them on Ade. This sketch also featured an innocent Cambodian torture victim begging for mercy before being shot dead; this particular scene made upper-class Englishmen roar with laughter and Ade was rehired by the BBC.
Later Career[edit]
In the 90s, Ade would go on to play Eddie Hitler, a balding alcoholic, in Bottom, as well as Eddie Ndingobamba in their first feature film Guest House Paradiso, who was the same character but with a different surname. Rumour has it that this has something to do with Rik Mayall's accident, which damaged his long-term memory, and he may therefore have forgotten that Richie and Eddie had already been used years before. Allegedly, Edmondson took this to his advantage.
Since then, Edmondson has quit comedy to pursue a music career. His band had previously played the theme song for Bottom. Unfortunately, Ade and his band "the Bum Notes" never sold a single album. Ade had the rest of his band fired, which he failed to realise would leave him by himself until it was too late. Edmondson was forced to return to television, where he remains to this day.
Family[edit]
The Edmondson family has had a few characters.
Harold Edmondson - Father. Was an ironmonger. Ade ate his dog for a bet.
Adolf Edmondson - Mother. She was a champion wrestler who had previously bent iron bars with her teeth for a living.
Eddie-wina Edmondson - Sister. On the left is the only known photo of Ade's sister, 'Eddie-wina'. She appeared in the documentary series Bottom, in the episode where they steal a Welsh cricketers honeymoon tickets. Mayall attempted to have sex with Eddie-wina, which was unsuccessful. A furious Adrian planned to teach him a violent lesson, but Cannonball Taffy O'Jones already did it.
Meows - Family cat. Disappeared when Ade was asked to make the tea. He served up, 'Meow Mein'.
SPG - Ade's pet hamster. Regularly ends up in the toaster.
Ade also has a small begonia pot plant that he waters every night (only because he cannot be bothered to go upstairs to the lavatory).
Hobbies[edit]
Adrian is quite the quiet person in his spare time, and his hobbies reflect this passive lifestyle. He enjoys going out for long walks (usually with a heavy object wrapped in a carpet that's then thrown off a cliff or bridge), writing numerous letters (using the print from dozens of local and national newspapers), photography and video work (CCTV, hidden microphones... you get the picture) and the standard daily beating to anyone who's just unlucky enough to get in his way at the time.