4:20
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Demotivated author at work. |
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This article was written at 4:20. The author is not responsible for the tangents and random references contained herein. |
4:20, 4/20 or 420 (April 20th) is used as a discrete way to refer to cannabis or to identify oneself with cannabis culture (cannabis has a culture?). There are numerous theories as to the origin of the phrase.
Origins of 4:20[edit]
The 420 Theories[edit]
There are many historical coincidences involving 420 and marijuana, and marijuana scholars aren't motivated enough to make a final decision as to which is the true origin. Each theory has a certain degree of vraisemblance. Hmm, that word sounds awesome. Vraisemblance. Wouldn't it be cool if all words sounded awesome. Awesome sounds awesome too. Awesome vraisemblance.
The Willie Nelson Theory[edit]
The term 4:20 may have emanated from a lyric in Willie Nelson's On The Road Again as well as the 1980 Willie Nelson movie Honeysuckle Rose in which the song appeared.
On the road again
Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is 4:20 with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again,
And I can't wait to get on the road again.
In Honeysuckle Rose, Willie Nelson plays Buck Bonham, a musician who avoids his shrew wife Viv (Dyan Cannon) and emo son Jamie (Joey Floyd) by meeting up with his guitarist Garland Ramsey (Slim Pickens) every day at 4:20 to devour snack foods and wax philosophical. On The Road Again won an Oscar for 'Best Original Song' and in his acceptance speech thanked his 4:20 friends.
“It's wonderful. I'm so happy, so elated, so high!”
The Apollo 16 Theory[edit]
4/20 may reference the time when Charles "Chuck" Duke Jr., lunar module pilot for Apollo 16, smoked a joint on the moon. Chuck nearly died after eating 4 pounds of freeze-dried ice cream and was fined $280 by the FBI for smoking in a nonsmoking area, nevertheless, Chuck Duke Jr. became a beloved figure in cannabis culture (the idea of a cannabis culture is just retarded). This event also started the annual practice where children dress up as ghouls, grues and goblins to flash mob FBI undercover operations and beg for candy.
“I'm 420 million miles away, Mom!”
“How much kush could a space Chuck suck if a space Chuck could suck kush”
The Persian Party Theory[edit]
Some historians believe that 420 may actually reference a year. In 420CE, King of Persia Yazdegard I died and was succeeded by his son Bahram V. In Persian culture (Persia has a culture), the celebration party thrown by Bahram V in 420CE became the benchmark for any party. In Farsi, the preferred language of Persia, to 420 means to party. However, there is counterevidence for the 420CE theory, as most teenagers generally imitate African American culture (that's a real culture too) and not Persian culture.
“Moshri qua mun radhi ya!”
The Cliché Theory[edit]
It is said that Grue Franz Ferdinand huffed 420 kittens and then was murdered by the {{RL|Non-Huffable Kitten, thereby starting World War Grue. 420 Ninjas then attacked the Non-Huffable Kitten in retaliation for the death of Grue Franz Ferdinand, but Cthulhu was bound by treaty to intervene, sending 420 pirates to dispatch the ninjas. The pirate-ninja skirmish lasted 420 hours, until the last ninja faced off against the last pirate. It is at this point that Oscar Wilde quoted the two warriors into submission with 420 witty Oscar Wildeizms, putting an anticlimactic cherry on the sundae of the epic pirate-ninja blood feud. Captain Obvious then declared World War Grue over. Although World War Grue had ended, Chuck Norris negotiated a peace treaty. The treaty was signed on Exit 420 of Interstate 90, thus becoming known as the I90 Treaty. Jedi built a shrine to Chuck Norris at Exit 420, which is visited by 31337 n00bs every day to pay homage to the hero Texas Ranger. The pilgrimage to the Chuck Norris shrine, also known as the Nerd Hajj, is considered by |-|4><0|22 to be the only reason to stop playing Runescape. At the 420th Nerd Hajj, Ford Twain Tee brought marijuana. The name of the guy who had marijuana seeped through the crowd in a giant game of telephone, and 420 emerged as the marijuana code word.
“In Soviet Russia, dead horse flogs you. ”
The Happy Hour Theory[edit]
It is suggested that 4:20 was purposely popularized to give the marijuana industry a forty minute head start on the 5 O'Clock Happy Hour. Alcohol distributors responded to this wildly successful scheme by popularizing the phrase "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere!" The kids just laughed.
The Numerology Theory[edit]
If you multiply the meaning of life by 10, it equals 420, makiing the obvious connection between 420 and marijuana. Although this may not make sense, it does if you are high. Keep smoking until it makes sense.
“TRAWR!”
The Wikipedia Theory[edit]
Wikipedians state that 4:20 was first used in reference to cannabis by a bunch of teenagers who, in the 1970s, would meet at 4:20 to smoke pot. Although this is patently absurd, as potheads are never on time, people who have a preference for wikiality often support this theory. People involved in cannabis culture (seriously, what's cannabis culture?) are too busy watching the The Shiny Show to offer any alternatives. Potheads who aren't busy watching The Shiny Show are too busy producing The Shiny Show and most other children's television. As such, the Wikipedia theory goes unchallenged.
The 419 Theories[edit]
420 terminology may have emerged from the 419 references in grue culture (grue culture mostly revolves around huffing and killing). 419 is discrete way to refer to the huffing of kittens, and 420 references may have emerged from the connections between grues and marijuana.
The Dawkins and Lewontin Theories[edit]
It is said that grues often come out of hibernation on April 19, upon which they immediately search for huffable kittens. Accordingly, 4/19 marks the first day of huffing season. Noted grueologist Richard Dawkins has stated that wild grues have been known to smoke in order to relax and ease the pressure created by huffing too many kittens. Dawkins also believes marijuana use is a signal that a Grue has huffed many kittens and is a suitable candidate for courtship and perfunctory mating. Without the calming influence of marijuana, it may be that grues would not be able to refrain from violence long enough to successfully mate. Many marijuana and huffing enthusiasts agree that that huffing season spawned the Sex and Marijuana Enthusiast Orgy on April 20.
Rival grueologist Richard Lewontin has disputed this theory, claiming that the annual SexME Orgy, and thus the significance of 4/19 and 4/20, stems from an ancient pagan celebration of the marijuana harvest. On April 19, when grues emerged from hibernation, Lewontin argues that pagans offered a tribute of kittens to local grues to ensure a good marijuana harvest. The following day, April 20, was grow-op harvest day. After the day's harvest was complete, pagans would leave gifts of marijuana and soft-core grue porn to thank the grues for the blessing of their crop, thus explaining the 4/20 reference and the association with grues.
“TRAWR!”
Noted grueologist Albert Einstein Jr. attempted to unify the Dawkins and Lewontin theories, an endeavour that ultimately ended in bloody failure. Einstein sought out grue elders in the hopes that grue oral culture would reveal a unified theory of 4/19 and 4/20; however, Einstein was ultimately devoured after mentioning The Non Huffable Kitten to a grue elder, an unforgivable taboo in grue culture (grue culture always ends in bloodshed).
“Grues do not play nice with the universe”
The 4:19 Kitten Theory[edit]
In some time zones, 4:19 is the time when the popular children's program Grue's Clues has it's second commercial break, giving people a chance to huff a kitten before the show resumes. Akin to a post-coital cigarette, 4:20 may have emerged into popular language as a reference to the relaxing smoke one has after huffing a 4:19 kitten.
The Year Of The Grue Theory[edit]
In 419CE, also known as The Year Of The Grue, a fearsome grue left hibernation and huffed Emperor An, thereby succeeding him as ruler of the Chinese Jin Dynasty. Emperor Grue led a fearsome bloodbath of grues across Eurasia. Having their fill of savaging and goring bodies, the grue warriors returned home the following year (420CE), victorious and full of kittens, to get high and have perfunctory sex with their women.
“TRAWR!”
Usage[edit]
Pronunciaton[edit]
The pronunciation of four twenty can sometimes vary by region. Common American pronunciation is fo' twuh'ny. However, in Canada it might be said forr twuntee, eh. On the other side, an Australian might pronunciate it fo-ah twahnee, mate. It is acceptable in Japanese cannabis culture (guess which half's not a real culture) to use yonnijuu, four twenty, or yonhyakunijuu, four hundred and twenty.
Cannabeeze, one of Japan's most beloved Pokemon, popularised giggling and saying "subarashi!" whenever someone said yonhyakunijuu. Accordingly, most young people prefer the retro-cool yonhyakunijuu while older Japanese pohtheads stick to the traditional yonnijuu.
Language[edit]
420 is widely used as a codeword for marijuana. As a noun, 4:20 means marijuana or the time or place for consuming marijuana. As an adjective, 420 can be used to connect something with marijuana. For example, a 420 friend is one with whom you engage in marijuana consumption.
Depending on context, 420 can be used pejoratively or honorifically. Nonsmokers might call someone 420 to note their subhuman pothead status, while younger emo kids might call an older emo smoker so 420 to note their THC-laced coolness.
Although using to 420 in place of to smoke is common, other more complex verb forms are only used by elite 420 enthusiasts:
to four twentify - to get someone high for the first time.
to four twentiate (4:28) - to make pot brownies in a microwave, usually taking no more than 8 minutes, unless you're high while making these brownies, in which case you'll probably forget to turn on the microwave and when you remember that you made brownies you'll discover that the microwave has failed you and you'll end up eating the batter with a fork because the spoons seem to be missing. Fuck, where'd they go?
to four twenty up - to get your 420 friends high, when they accuse you of being a mooch, in the interests of reciprocity (not to be confused with 420-UP, a popular carbonated cannabis soft drink).
to four-twenty [an object] - to misplace something while high: I four-twentied my spoons!
to four-twenty [a person] - to lose a 420 friend in a convenience or grocery store: I four-twentied Pete while picking up chips, but later I found him talking dirty to the slurpee machine.
Half Baked - three lovable party buds try to bail their friend out of jail. But just when the guys have mastered a plan, everything comes dangerously close to going up in smoke.
Text[edit]
Things that are shiny[edit]
- metally things
- glitter
- mica
- pregnant women
- stars
- glass
- shiny things
- pee
Conclusion[edit]
The universe is big.