Thing

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A Thing is, unlike thingie, not in any way invented or premeditated by God. Things were an accident on the part of God. Things are always accidents. On the evening of the first day God spake unto himself: I shall make things better. Suddenly, God realized that in fact he had not created a single thing yet. Mother fucker had not done shit! Hence, things came into being. There are things all around us, and some things even have names, like: gynecologists, grocery stores, scissors, bikes, antihistamines, and etc. on and on to infinity. Things without a name are called: something. Things that don't care what they are called, are called anything.

One can divide things in good things and bad things. Ironically, a very common use of the word "thing" is an obvious reference to naughty bits, which can lead to sexual harassment in the workplace.

A thing.

Another thing.

These two things are things.

Instances Of Things[edit]

Some things, (not to be confused with something) are found throughout history. The word is commonly used to speak of an object, when you want no one to know of what you speak. Sometimes things are misplaced, such as "I lost something" or "Aww man, where is that thing!", and usually either began or followed with a deregatory statement, such as "####! I lost my thing again!". Other instances include thingy, a word commonly used when a thing's name is forgotten. "####, where is that Thingy...?", is a common statement. It could be compared to the uses of Bread, which are limitless, because thingy could be everything, another type of thing. The utter irony of swearing in accordance with not understanding is still studied in colleges nationwide, brought to the forefront of education by the invention of things themselves.

What IS a thing?[edit]

There are many things that can describe a thing. A thing can be used to describe many things. But the thing that makes a thing, a thing, is the thing that a thing can describe. A thing is a thing because it describes things as things, not only as things, but as THINGS. As someTHING that can be categorized into things, a thing is what a thing is. Nothing beats a thing, therefore you should check out noTHING to understand the real meaning of thing THROUGH other things. Things are just what you want things to be. Be a thing, or the thing may be you.

Notable Things[edit]

The official Thing #4 logo

Presently, the only notable thing in existence is Ben Grimm, Addams family's butler, and the servants of the Cat and the Hat. Ben Grimm is easily the best thing, he was the only good thing about those garbage fantastic four movies that made Jessica Alba cry, they stank worse than a New York city landfill. They couldn't afford to go to mars so they went with a space station and car pooled with Doctor Doom. Than they slashed the budget in the reboot and settled for a portal to the green screen dimension. Much like NASA the F4 have seen better days.

Oh yeah, than there's that thing that lives in Antarctica and eats and imitates everyone...including dogs, though luckily not the flu, maybe...

Thing #8[edit]

Thing #8

Thing #8 is more well known as thing from the Addams family, but for ~~copyright issues~~ Satan, we cannot refer to him as that, for that reason, we will refer to him as Thing #8. He has been seen hanging around the Addams household and old Staples commercials.

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread[edit]

The Great Thing

The greatest thing is the world is an advertising firm on Madison Avenue.

The Thing-Thing[edit]

Thing-Things are small grey bioweapons that look like dots. Despite being of simple design, they can still kick your ass.

Did you know...?[edit]

...a thing is a thing and another thing is a different thing?
...a thing is made by a smaller thing?
...a little thing is made by smaller things, and those smaller things are made of even smaller things... until the dust thread, what is undivisible?
...Things go bump in the night, and night is an anagram of thing?
...where is the thing littlething which dives and doesn't wet?
...a thing is a thing and another thing are two?
...a thing multiplied by a thing is a square thing?
...and a thing multiplied by a thing and in its turn by another is a cubic thing?
...the things never are that they appear?
...those are things that happens?
...everything at its time?
...you have better things to do?
...I have better things to do?
...the things are what they are?
...everything is under control?
...the things are like this and this way we told them?
...the Thing wants to patent everything?
...a piano is a thing and the fact of wasting your time here is a very different thing?
...Impossible is nothing, nothing is impossible?
...Why don't you thing me a thong?
...Things aren't meant to be like that?
...you've got another thing coming?

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Thing.