13 Reasons Why

The Wicked Witch of Wikia. (Available only in a green skin).

Some people might think this article was going to be about a popular US TV show. But it is not. Instead, it is 13 reasons WHY I hate the new skin. What skin? The skin Wikia Fandom just forced on our site the 25th of May 2018. If you don't read this article, I might leave a box of cassettes at your doorstep, each one a recording of the following sections. However, finding the cassette player is up to you, and it isn't my problem that those are increasingly difficult to find these days. Remember, don't break the chain...once you finish each section, continue to the next, or the chain will be broken. Bad things happen when you break chains, unless they are the iron or steel kind.

One - the Categorizer

It used to be that when you navigated to a category, you could see a list of subcategories within that category. No longer. Now, what you see when you type in a category title such as Category:Countries into the search bar, is a list of random pages within that category, unless you use a hack to edit your css. If you are a tiny little wiki with only 100 or even 1000 pages, that might not be so bad. But when there are over 20,000 pages, it makes it impossible to find what you are looking for by category.

Two - the Immersion Breaker

Uncyclopedia is supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia. Does Wikipedia have pictures of its associate websites at the bottom of all its article pages? Does it have ads for its sponsors on any of its pages? Does Wikipedia have a mobile or desktop editor? No, NO, and no! It breaks the immersion.

Three - the Mover of Stuff

The location of everything has been moved around. My mother used to reorganize the kitchen and move things around. Every two to four weeks. I never knew where anything was. I hate not being able to find stuff. I hated it then, I hate it now. Imagine being forced to put the dishes away as part of the chores and not knowing where to put them. Imagine trying to get a glass of water, only to find the glasses aren't where you expect them? That's how I feel now with the new site design.

Four - the Plushie Lover

I always enjoyed looking at the Unpotato logo everytime I visited this site. It was a cute little parody logo of the Wikipedia logo, only shaped like a potato. I looked forward to seeing it, and if it had been sold as a plush toy, I might have even bought it. Now I cannot see that logo at the top left of my screen anymore. Wah!

Five - the UnScripted Actress

As an admin, I rely on a number of scripts to help me do routine things, in far less time than they would take to do manually. One of these things is to feature content that was voted for highlight on the main page. That took only about four or five steps with the scripts. Now, with the exception of UnNews and DIY, it is hopelessly complicated.

Six - Something Special

Numerous "special pages" are hidden from view, even from admins. It used to be easy for admins to import or export pages. Now it is just a pain in the buns. So now, if you need certain special tools, you need to ALREADY know where to find them. Good for keeping newbies and vandals out of where they don't belong, not so great for keeping admins from doing their job.

Seven - the Gallery Artist

The general editor encourages people to add "galleries" of pictures to articles. That is fine for other wikis, but doesn't work with our format. Encyclopedias don't have galleries of pictures at the bottom of every page. As a parody encyclopedia, all the pictures in the gallery would need to be parody pictures - and too often when you stick a bunch of parody pictures together, it just ruins the effect. See HTBFANJS for more info on this.

Eight - A Mobile Failure

Forcing us to completely redesign a mobile main page resulted in a very ugly mobile main page. And one that wasn't updated regularly, since I was the only one to do it and I work full-time during tax season and commute a half hour each way to work. Sorry, but this site isn't the only thing I like to do in my spare time, and I doubt that it is the only thing you do in your spare time either. Even Spike, who spent so much time on this site, is into baseball. Likewise, if we have to redesign the main page now, it is not likely to be as pretty since none of the current volunteers are graphics designers. Or if it is, it will be less functional, like the mobile site (which was patterned on Fandom's template, by the way, which relies heavily on pictures and tries to look like a collection of apps).

Nine - the Videographer

Fancy media like slideshows and sliders make sense if the topic of your wiki is a game, a TV show, or a movie. But when the wiki is a parody wiki, those are more likely to confuse viewers. Confused viewers usually are not amused viewers. Dear Fandom, please read HTBFANJS.

Ten - Chatty Cathy

Live! Chat is featured prominently. We stopped using chat around 2013, when those people on our wiki who used chat most and were frustrated most with Wikia decided to leave Wikia and took their chatroom with them. Since then, we have discussed bringing back chat, but there just wasn't enough people interested, especially in the same time zones, to make chat a thing. (If you are interested in chat by the way, please bring it up in the Forums...unless Fandom kills those too at a later time.) So this advertisement for Chat...remains just an empty advertisement, at least for now. The old skin at least had a link to a page explaining this, which can be found at Uncyclopedia:Chat.

Eleven - the Trend Setter

Annoying notifications when other pages you are following on other wikis pop up. Yes, yes, we know this is the "trendy" thing. This is how they keep you hooked to your phone or social media, by keeping these alarms popping up to keep you Afraid of Missing Out. There's a reason why, in the 80s when I was a teen, I never wanted a job that required a pager. Sure, people with pagers then had status (some rap guy even made a song about it called "Beepers"). But they were ALWAYS on call, no matter what. They never had a life of their own. And when I am not being paid, I don't want to be on call. I find notifications annoying and turn them off at every opportunity. Notifications at the wheel are dangerous and should be outlawed. They already have an "airplane mode"; they should have a "driver mode" too. Especially one that blocks intrusive ads and spam calls, especially robocalls. THAT's the kind of trend I want to see.

Twelve - the Cynic

The Fandom links at the top encourage people to go elsewhere, whether it be other Fandom wikis, wikis about games, wikis about movies, or wikis about tv shows. This wiki is categorized as a "Lifestyle" Wiki on the official Fandom community wiki. That's right, they don't even have a separate category for humor or parodies. Yet, one of the TOS prohibits us from linking to non-fandom wikis because they don't want readers going elsewhere. Hypocritical much? Then again, if you view each person reading a Fandom wiki as a source of ad revenue, I guess this makes sense, since this wiki probably gathers the least amount of average ad revenue per page. What can I say...the older I get, the more cynical I get.

Thirteen - the Joker

Once upon a time, as an April Fools joke, without asking anybody else, an admin reskinned the whole site for one day from Monobook/Uncyclopedia to Wikia skin. Rage ensued, and the site was reverted before the day was even over. The joke failed then, why should Fandom think it would succeed now? Please Fandom, the joke's over. Do I really need to send a box of cassettes to your HQ? I would if I thought it would help and I had 13 cassettes. Actually, I do have 13 cassettes, come to think of it. Is it worth recording over the music I recorded off the radio in the 1980's and 1990's? Stay tuned for the next episode....