Why?:Aren't there any penguins up north?
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Why? This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's? |
Penguins, the southern arctic bird of rudimentry unflightfulness do not exsist up north?
“But I wants to play with them thar penquins D:”
Yes yes we know you want to but can you afford 30000 Dollars to fly to Antarctica to play with them?
“Whats Money? Is that what we call pelts?”
Well then I, your instructor will tell you why penguins dont exist up north.
First of all[edit]
So, when penguins were created by God, (Or for you atheists, when penguins began to process of evolving from lizards into penguins) God decided that he wanted the penguins on both ends of the planet (Or for you atheists, when penguins started doing their migratory patterns). God got distracted halfway when the stupid humans decided to eat that fruit from the local market that made them see they were in God's Porno movie and they got embarrassed bla bla bla (Or for you aetheists, no comment....).
“But what side of the earth did them thar penguins land on?”
Well I think that is a pretty obvious there dopey.
When God distracted he forgot about the penguins (Or for you atheists, they got too lazy to migrate to the north so they stayed put) and God just left them there to do as they wished.
Second Of All[edit]
When Penguin politicians started to rant about not being able to hang out with the polar bears. Large groups of penguins started to migrate over to south america but failed to reach the north. Soon, humans discovered hundreds of lifeless penguins reaching the beaches of san diego.
“Dat so sad D: why did they all die?”
Wow, you canadians are dumber than I thought.
Conclusion[edit]
This is why penguins dont exist in the north.
“But I wants to play with them D:”
Also, in conclusion[edit]
I suggest you faggot fuck americanss that you just kill yourself now so your government wont have to.
“Yay!”