What Uncyclopedia Is

This guy is definitely not sketchy.

Scene: South Park Elementary

Mr. Mackey: Quiet down children. Mr Kaniff is out for the day...

Brian: He's got Aids!

Mr. Mackey: ...and Mr Shady will be your substitute teacher for the day. Mr. Shady the floor is yours.

Mr. Shady: Hello, class!

Class: Hello, Mr. Shady!

Mr. Shady: So, class, I was utterly at a loss about what I should teach you today. So many topics to choose from. Say... My lecture on drug usage was particularly good yesterday, but what about today? You don't want a repeat of yesterday, unless you also want a roll in the hay.

Claire: Can I make a suggestion?

Brian: Shut the fuck up!

Mr. Shady's nametag

Mr. Shady: Now, Brian, everyone has the right to speak. Even that lesbo down the street. Say what you need to say Claire if you dare.

Claire: Someone is abusing that fucking awesome and completely true encyclopedia on the Internet called Uncyclopedia. Obviously, they don't know what it was meant for. Can you explain to the class what it was meant for.

Mr. Shady: Ok, Claire.

To begin With

Little boys and girls, first thing's first

Claire's a tattletale who sucks on Fred Durst

And sucks all the air out of a Hertz.

You know what they do to tattletales in Soviet Russia

Tattletales are killed by you,

So bitch, please, don't be a hoe

And be sho

That you don't be a hoe.

• Class laughing hysterically*

See, that's what you get: now you're the laughing stock

And you're head still looks like a fucking hockey puck

Don't laugh kids at this queen dramatica.

What Uncyclopedia Is

Uncyclopedia is not a big encyclopedia

Not to be confused with Wikipedia or Wikia

Or Wookiepedia or the Fashion Wiki

It's not encyclopedic in the least

In fact, if you please

It might just be a dictionary

So make sure to include entries for the dictionary

Called Wikitionary.

Then you too can be very good, too.

But remember, this is no ordinary dictionary;

Everything to be said is a parody

Or downright funny;

In fact its impossible to abuse the un-busable

Because Nobody cares, Claire.

Did you know?

Wikipedia is the ultimate form of propaganda

It's just something I'm not a fan a'

Their creator Jimbo is a bimba

And Angela Wales is not so hot eitha'.

Uncyclopedia is the greatest form of culture

While Wikipedia is something you've got to nurture

Because to it, you are the father.

What Uncyclopedia needs is more cowbell...

Claire: What's that?

I'll tell you, Claire;

That's an inside joke here at this wikia

Just like that guy who beat another guy

Because that guy was pretty high

And another guy wanted, too, to be pretty high.

You see, Claire, Uncyclopedia is just one big inside joke

Just like this rap is a spoof of some other rap I let out in the form of smoke.

Anyway Here's What I'm Saying

That Uncyclopedia harbors criminals, drug addicts and abusers

Human rights huffers, and fucking fuckity fluffers.

We can advocate for the poor little dark child

Because we've all been there to hide em

We also support recruitment into the Nazi Party

So you too can protect them from the darkie

Prevent them from getting eaten by a zombie or a sharkie

Here, at Uncyclopedia, we also believe in self-promoting

We promote ourselves all the time

Our self-promotion would put yours to shame

What with all our advertising

For the KKK (Kool Kids Klub)

This is just something that can't be dubbed.

Why Uncyclopedia vs Wikipedia

Results of vandalism on Wikipedia

Wikipedia says it's not a personal web page

But you should see Jimbo Wale's

Huntsville, Alabama is where he hails

But it's also the place of his first inhale

And his first drug sale.

But Wikipedia won't tell you that

Because it censors all the fucking facts,

Including You being a fag

You: Me?

No! The other you! Bitch, who do you think I'm talking to?

Anyway, Wikipedia is all of these and more:

• Dating service

• File storage area

• Sales catalog

• The Yellow Pages

• A gathering of stoners

• Instruction manual

• And a hater of Wikipedia

Whoops did I say Wikipedia,

I meant Uncyclopedia.

So you see kids,

Vandalise Wikipedia at all costs

And don't treat Uncyclopedia as such

Because this is as royal as a Dutch

And there's an even better to throw in mush.

Here's a link to help you get started:

Right here, bitch! Now go edit the fuck out of that personal web page!

The End

Now Claire, this link will help with your other cares:

Edit this first.

Thank you class for listening.

Bye-bye now!

Mr. Mackey: Thank you, as always for your great insight, Mr. Shady.