Vagina dentata

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What turned Sir Ian McKellan into the ghei.

“That's why.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Vagina dentata

The vagina dentata is an example of dream imagery first explored by German psychoanalist Dr. Sigmund Freud in his groundbreaking book: Causes of Penis Envy: OMFG! PUNANI W/ TEETH!. Images of vagina dentata occur in the dreams of people beholden of a wish to see "the scariest fucking thing ever".

Etymology[edit]

The term "vagina dentata" comes from Latin. The second word in the phrase, dentata, translates to the English "of the teeth, having or concerning", as in the Latin phrase for Englishmen; "Pesona Dentata Cariosa"(1). The first word has no literal translation into English, and as is often the case in translations from Romantic to Germanic languages, a close approximation must be satasfactory. The agreed upon translation for the Latin "vagina" is the English commonphrase "cock socket". Hence "vagina dentata" translates to "cock socket of the teeth, having or concerning." Which tells us absolutely nothing. Thanks for nothing, Roman Empirekjadjsahidusadbiasbisaudsaib

Existance In Dreams[edit]

Dreams involving vagina dentata can occur for a wide variety of reasons, but occurrences have usually been noted following certain key triggers, which differ for genders.

Men[edit]

  • The subject attends a wedding with his girlfriend.
  • The subject makes a tampon purchase.
  • A conversation with the subject's mother in which she states the subject will "never live up to his father, God rest his soul."
  • The subject accidentally views pornography in which Annie Sprinkle stars.
  • All army cadets with female drill instructors
  • The subject is in Pink Floyd.dcdcdccdc

Women[edit]

  • The subject is a victim of sexual assault.
  • The subject is in a company executive with male subordinates
  • The subject finds herself within 50 yards of a book penned by Andrea Dworkin.
  • The subject is Viet Cong.

Interpretation[edit]

Like most dream interpretations, the metaphoric significance of the vagina dentata is under dispute, since dream analysis is a science based largely on conjecture and shouting matches. The most commonly held belief, first put forth by Freud protigé Carl Gustav Jung in his book Alchemy Für Die Kinder, thoerizes that "perhaps the minge is hungry." Jung added later "I do not know what the minge's dietary habits are, perhaps roast beef sandwiches and falafel, but I recommend you give the minge whatever it wants. It looks dangerous." Jung's findings were considered highly controversial in the psychology world, particularly for a German-born analyst's use of a British twat-euphimism. In a recent investigation into the secret like of the papacy has resulted in a confirmation of this long told-myth in the form of the the disease carnivorous vaginitis which, is more wide-spread than previously thought.

References In Pop Culture[edit]

  • In the Family Guy episode titled Violence Against Women Is A Laugh Riot, a vagina dentata can briefly be seen in the fourth scene where Peter Griffin is shitting on the floor.
  • The highly popular Japanese manga Bitey Taco-Chan, the main character is endowed with a vagina dentata, which she uses (with some success) to defend herself against tentacle monsters.
  • A 2008 film about vagina dentata, "Teeth", is already slated to receive all the important (or, televised) Oscar awards. Critics are piddling themselves in excitement for its release.
  • Also see Centipede filled vagina.