Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 18

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David Beckham in traditional pose.

January 18: Wenns Day (aka Humping Day)

  • 853 - General Ackbar ruins his voice by yelling, 'It's a trap!!' too many times during the Dark Ages.
  • 1321 - Every chicken in the world mysteriously circumnavigates the globe in the middle of the night, returning to the same spot where they were the previous evening.
  • 1466 - An unknown musician perishes when his steam-powered accordion explodes while he plays Lady of Spain. The venue burns to the ground causing many casualties, This then is the first example but not the last of the accordion being a weapon of mass destruction.
  • 1610 - God divinely inspires Sidney Trammell; Trammell doesn't notice for another two years.
  • 1778 - James Cook is the first known European to discover the Sandwich Islands, which are later renamed the 'Tunny Fish Sandwich Islands', then 'Tuna Sandwich with Chips Islands', 'Tuna Sandwich with Chips and a Drink (no ice) Islands', and 'Japan's Target Islands' before eventually becoming the 'Hawaiian Islands'. James Cook would go on to become a menu item himself.
  • 1952 - The first issue of Mad Magazine is thrown in the garbage by your mom.
  • 1987 - The inventor of the frozen TV dinner dies and is cryogenically frozen. It is unknown what side dishes are included as nobody has seen the box.
  • 1990 - The Humpty Dance is the #1 song in America. Depressing, eh?
  • 1996 - The Spice Girls declare their hatred for the West. Angry Wurzels fans retaliate.
  • 2000 - David Beckham is transformed from human being into a brand.
  • 2002 - Filmmakers are forced to change the title of their footie movie Bent Like Beckham.
  • 2008 - Cloverfield hits theaters across America. Unfortunately for New York, the movie is based on a true story.