UnSignpost:Interview/ScottPat
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- Journalist: Please introduce yourself to our audience in the most original way you can think about! Anton (talk) 19:42, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
- Great start; now after this I can ask you what you think about the UnSignpost in general. (As you have nothing else left to throw out). Anton (talk) 19:59, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
- Well... So you do consider the UnSignpost a newspaper for people without a home? Anton (talk) 07:52, January 28, 2014 (UTC)
- Do you mean a 1960s' computer? I think that one would work, if you took out all of the interior. Anton (talk) 18:18, January 31, 2014 (UTC)
- Now I really don't want to be indiscreet, as are many journalists, so I will ask you something simple: what is the most important thing that we don't know about your private life? Anton (talk) 19:51, January 31, 2014 (UTC)
- Let's imagine that the soup spoon had a website. Then would this website's URL have a "wikia" inside it? Anton (talk) 09:42, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- I can imagine. Now how do you think this influences global population? Anton (talk) 09:51, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- And do you personally have enough humour in your life? Anton (talk) 10:14, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- Best thing in life or best thing to make life better? Anton (talk) 14:03, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- So, according to you, if you are unfortunate in love, but have become the Writer of the Year on Uncyclopedia (a random question, which has no connection to any real events), you can still be happy? Anton (talk) 19:29, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- Love is hard to find true however humour is easier to find, especially if you write some ideas down and convince people they are funny. Comedy is what gains me friends and without it I would be a pretty dull person (unless you don't mind a lecture on the matter, anti-matter asymmetry or the modernisation of the British Army from 1776-1854). Sir ScottPat (talk) 19:52, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- Well, it really depends on what one considers dull. I am interested in both the modernisation of British army and matter and anti-matter asymmetry (are your lectures free?)... But I guess I am abandonning my duties of a journalist. So, on the subject of love and friends, what is your favorite book? If you don't have one, you can name your favorite film or even a song. If you don't have any of them, then ... then it will be another question. Anton (talk) 16:19, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
- My favourite book would probably be either, "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy" or "Desert Generals". My favourite films are "Chicken Run" and "Star Wars" and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". My favourite piece of music would probably be either "Scotland the Brave" or "Zulu Theme". Sir ScottPat (talk) 19:15, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
- So you like pairs, don't you? But it is not a question, unless you want to respond to it. Which of your favorite songs do you think can become a soundtrack to the sequel to one your favorite movies based on one of your favorite book's plot? Anton (talk) 19:30, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
- Great! And to what other questions would you like to respond? Anton (talk) 09:49, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
- Ok. So why why and not ex? (In my opinion, it's something strongly related to psychology.) Anton (talk) 14:35, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
- Yes, but isn't it almost psychology? The readers of the UnSignpost think that maths and psychology are two 'exact' sciences, therefore they are rather similar. Anton (talk) 14:51, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
- That means that you don't read the UnSignpost yourself? Otherwise, you would consider yourself a reader. Our readers will be very interested in this... Anton (talk) 07:51, February 11, 2014 (UTC)
- Do you think that Taco Bell resembles the UnSignpost, and if yes - how? We address our readers the same question. Anton (talk) 20:20, February 12, 2014 (UTC)
- Aha! How can you tell they are resemblant if you have never been there? You are definitely hiding something! Is this somehow connected to Spike's girlfriend? Anton (talk) 10:10, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
- I have been to my local tea room. I would advise you to take a trip too. Alas I am yet to meet Spike's girlfriend although I am sure she is a wonderful person. Sir ScottPat (talk) 17:28, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
- Again: how can you be sure that she's a wonderful person, if you have never met her? The "tell me who your girlfriend is and I'll tell you who you are" does not work backwards. Is there some strange conspiracy? Anton (talk) 14:16, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
- Now, our readers complain that they can only read the UnSignpost when it is upside down. Is this why it is so? Anton (talk) 19:49, February 17, 2014 (UTC)