UnPoetia:Show Me Your Tits!
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Poetry for people who hate poetry |
After all this time, all these years,
and all these women that I have yearned
and lusted over wishing, hoping, and such
to see them topless and to see their tits,
all that I had to do was to hold up
a 2x3 cardboard sign that read:
"Show me your tits!"
What is it with large crowds consuming
great amounts of alcohol? It is customary
and expected for women, women who are
mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, aunts
even VIPs, to raise their blouses, pull them on out
display their tits to the cheering and drunken crowd
Women who would never under any circumstance
show their tits in public are suddenly flashing
multiple times. It is a tit phenomenon. I like it.
"Show me your tits!"
Generally, it happens out at car racing events,
outdoor concerts, Mardi gras, and/or at Spring Break.
Even Jerry Springer has gotten into the act by doling out
Jerry beads to any female who flashes her tits to the crowd
When I was growing up, I remember, the only place that I
could see tits was in the art books at the Public Library,
in the National Geographic magazine or if one of us
were lucky and found one of our father's old
discarded Playboy magazines. Today,
thanks to PG and R rated movies
that were once X and XXX rated,
tits are everywhere.
"Hey, Joey, I just saw your mother's tits on the Internet."
It used to be that it was a big deal
to get to second base. Now, you do
not have to marry her, give her a baby,
and pay alimony and child support for eons
You do not have to buy her a ring. You do
not have to profess your love for her.
You do not have to buy her dinner.
You do not have to ply her at all.
You do not even have to
introduce yourself...
You merely have
to hold up that
lousy sign on
cardboard
"Show me your tits!"
"Hey, Jen, did you see that creep in the bar?
He asked me to show him my tits... Can you
imagine the balls on him asking me like that?
What a weirdo? Are you serious? I can't believe
some guys. He is such a degenerate. You didn't
show him your tits, did you? No way. I have more
class than that than to just lift up my blouse and bra
and show some stranger my tits. I'm not trailer trash
I'm nobody's slut. Oh, wait, Betty, there's a "hottie"
on the street corner holding up an "official sign."
"Show me your tits!"
Suddenly, these modest and offended women,
who when asked to flash their tits in the privacy
of a bar are now lifting their shirts and bras in order
to display their tits in the openness of these city streets
for all to see because just some guy, just a stranger, is
holding up a sign. If only I knew then, what I now
know. I just need a single, lousy, black ink sign.
"Show me your tits!"
Allow me to take this one step further...
Let us pay homage to the age of technology
and to the generation of the Internet with only
a moment of cyber silence, please. As a public
service, as a way for women everywhere to
help men who are in desperate need to see
tits, I want every female over the age of
18-years-old and under 118, (I do not
discriminate against age) who reads
this story to e-mail me a photo of
their tits. I, uhm, just wanna see.
"Show me your tits!"
It is only fair that I write for tits,
after all. Think of me as a tit beggar.
"Tits! Tits! I'll write you a story, if you
show me your tits." I proudly hold up my
sign, Show Me Your Tits, as a couple
approaches me. "Here's $20.00,
Buddy. Go buy yourself
a decent meal." No.
"Show me your tits!"
Cleavage is the thing that drives me wild.
Only, to me, it is more exciting to speculate
what lies beneath that low cut top and sexy bra
than to suddenly see the entire tit on display.
It is more fun when you have to work to see
Sure, plenty of women have and show...
But real fans of tits will always know.
"Show me your tits!"
Yeah, all of us guys have built-in tit meters.
We inherit them from our fathers. Some guys'
tit meters are more sensitive than others.
I customized my tit meter with all the
movies that I have watched over the
decades and by all the topless pros
that I have seen over and again.
My tit meter is very sensitive.
"Show me your tits!"
I remember when I was an eternally horny teenager
full of testosterone and always had a raging hard on.
Back then, a bra strap would be enough to excite me,
and now, that I am more mature and have a bit less
testosterone, it takes a bit more, two bra straps.
I don't know what it is about tits but there is
something magical about a nice pair of
knockers jiggling up and down and
side to side as she walks towards
me, especially if they are barely
covered in an Angora or a
jersey knit sweater.
"Show me your tits!"
There is nothing like the sensation of feeling
a woman's tit through her clothes, through the
softness of her cotton blouse, and the satin of her
bra. That is my favorite feeling. Then, once you have
her topless, always, I take a moment to admire her tits.
Nothing on this Earth feels the same as a well-formed tit.
You can blindfold me and put any kind of chemical substance
formulated by man to deceive me and I can tell if it is real or not.
My tit meter lights up big time.Then, if tits are not enough, there
are nipples, pink puffy nipples or big brown erect nipples with
huge areolas, it does not matter which. Oh, yeah, the nipples
are the frosting on the tit cake. There is nothing like seeing
bright headlights coming your way. Is it love or just cold?"
"Show me your tits!"
Where's my sign? "Freddie, why do you
have cardboard on both sides of your car
windows?" Oh, uhm, I put the cardboard
there to block out the sun. Yeah, that's it,
to block the sun. "But the cardboard... It
reads show me your tits???? You have
show me your tit signs in your car."
"Show me your tits!"
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Featured version: 16 January 2008 |
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