UnNews:UN Voted 15 to 0 of being Pussies
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| UN Voted 15 to 0 of being Pussies | 
|
14 October 2006
Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink, while marking it doubleminusgoodthink at the same time. But do not let this interrupt your reading, if it benefits our country.
United Nations Security Council -- It's the vote the world has been waiting for ever since North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il called pussy on the worlds richest nations.
"The powers of the rich nations has been dropping like a nuclear bomb lately," quotes Kim. "I put it to the entire world; the entire United Nations is an underground explosion."
At first the United States desired to retaliate with harsh bitch-slapping of Kim and his regime, citing that "It is not right that North Korea be allowed to threaten us. We may be an underground explosion, but we'd blow the richter scale off the roof."
However, China and Russia thought bitch-slapping would be too harsh of a punishment.
"We are all for punishing North Korea after they went and offended us," China's anonymous representative quoted, "especially as we have been good mates for so long. But bitch-slapping them is just too far!"
However, a consensus was recently reached between the rich nations that halting the importation of kittens would hit Kim's Kitten Huffing life hard, but not without a vote on how pussy the rich nations were.
"We had to decide if we really were pussy enough to avoid the bitch-slapping, you see," stated the United Nations newest secutary.
"It was a unanimous decision, however. Voted 15 to 0 (even though there are only 14 of us), we are all a bunch of pussies."
Sources[edit]
- Bill Varner "UN Votes to Punish North Korea for Nuclear Test (Update 3)". Bloomberg, 14 10, 2006