UnNews:Time magazine names Person of the Year for 2007

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30 December 2007

Due to legal reasons, his cousin Henry Winkler had to take his place for the photo shoot.

NEW YORK, New York - For the last decade and a half, the title of Time Magazine's Person of the Year has gone to Chuck Norris each year because of his sheer greatness.[1] This year, however, the judges shook things up by giving it to someome else. The choice was difficult, but they went with the most talked about person of the year: American schoolteacher Francis Winkler.

Mr. Winkler won the judges hearts by his unbreakable spirit. Despite being diagnosed with GAIDS, he managed to keep teaching 5th grade English. When asked how he felt about being Person of the Year, Mr. Winkler responded, "Up yours, Mr. Kearsy! Hope you're enjoying your pitiful little "Teacher of the Year" award!"

When word got out than Mr. Winkler was a candidate, protest sprung out across the nation. Many people felt it should have went to a more influential candidates, such as Vladimir Putin. The majority of protests came from Conservatives, who didn't want a gay man's face on any magazine cover other than The Advocate.[2] One of Winkler's own students called Time's decision, "GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!!"

While he will possibly remain a controversial figure for years to come, one thing is certain: Francis Winkler will go down in the gay history books.


Footnotes[edit]

  1. ↑ It is a known fact that everything he does is awesome, though not neccessarily funny.
  2. ↑ It's a gay and lesbian magazine. Not that I ever read it.

Sources[edit]

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