UnNews:The Bush-Twinkie Alliance: Success

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, November 21, 2024, 19:02:59 (UTC)
The Bush-Twinkie Alliance: Success UnNews Logo Potato.png

5/9/2006

President Bush announced on Tuesday that after hard diplomatic talk, the Bush Administration and the Queendom of Twinkies came to a creamy decision: The two would have an alliance as well as a peace treaty.

The Queendom of Twinkies will begin trade on upcoming thursday and the Bush Administration is welcoming Twinkie refugees with open arms. Ports will be open on Friday allowing mission accomplished cigars to be transported and traded.

The national flag of the Queendom of Twinkies

President Bush and Twinkie Queen, Queen Hostess K. Eetallot, shook hands and came upon an agreement. Both soft countries will not fight each other, the eating pact of 1664 will be renewed, and the two countries will trade vastly. The Queendom of Twinkies also agreed to station 45,000 soldiers in Iraq as well as 78,500 tanks in Iran. Queen Hostess K. Eetallot also agreed to start digestive nuclear war heads and weapons program for the safety of their homeland. President Bush quoted, "With terrorist on the loose, and many dangerous culpriits throwing guns in the air, our sfaety and freedom are threatened greatly. We need to fight for them, free Iraq and we free the infedals and tarrorists. The Queendom of Twinkies need the best defense system they can get, for infedels will come and attack. We need to prepare for the future demolition and back stabbing. I say we can do this." - Unfortunately, President Bush published and wrote the quote him self.

A second meeting will be held shortly on the 67th of Nectomber, 7054.

By 2 o'clock on tuesday, Queen Hostess K. Eetallot and President Bush sipped on hot milk tea and imported stale crumpets. The future for these two wonderful tastey countries looks very good. two powerful nations combined together makes one stupid out of control nation with nuclear weapons. {{subst:5}} {{subst:September}} {{subst:2006}}


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