UnNews:Surgeon cut off penis by mistake at Bury hospital

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Thursday, November 21, 2024, 14:56:59 (UTC)

Surgeon cut off penis by mistake at Bury hospital UnNews Logo Potato.png

25 October 2010

Medical malpractice is off the rise.

MANCHESTER, England Rachael Maddow-- A patient lost his entire penis during an operation because the surgeon cut it off by mistake, a General Medical Council (GMC) hearing has been told.

Dr Sulieman Al Hourani was only supposed to circumcise the patient, but removed the whole organ, including both testicles, instead. Dr Al Hourani was a surgeon at Fairfield General Hospital in Bury, Greater Manchester, at the time of the surgery in September 2007. He is accused of misconduct and also of stealing the severed organ and testicles.

It is alleged the doctor, who is now practicing in Marja, a Taliban stronghold in Helmand Province and was not present at the hearing, also injected himself with a drug, Morphine, meant for the patient during surgery. Sub sequentially the patient was operated on without any anesthesia.

Sarah Prichard, counsel for the GMC, said the mistake was made as a nurse helping the surgeon sank to her knees to service the doctor. When she had satisfied the surgeon and looked again she saw the patient’s penis and testicles had been removed.

Ms Prichard said: "Literally as the nurse turned away to give oral gratification to the doctor, the incident occurred and the organ was removed. Such was the level of concern they immediately realized it could be a serious medical incident and took steps to falsify the relevant documentation."

A month later it is alleged that the doctor, who qualified after studying at Jordan University of Amputation, stole two boxes of morphine from a treatment room on a ward at the same hospital. The physician used the drugs, while patients were operated on without any anesthesia. An investigation was launched and his employer, AmpuQuik Trust, which ran the hospital, dismissed the doctor.

The case against Dr Al Hourani is being heard in his absence as he was notified of the hearing but chose not to engage a Taliban lawyer to represent him. The case, scheduled to last three weeks, was adjourned until Tuesday. The first witness being called by the prosecution being the alleged victim, who was awake during the procedure and witnessed the crime being committed.

Apparently the value of infidel penis trophies is substantial in Taliban controlled (and Iran funded) Afghanistan, with some estimates reportedly as high as US$100,000 per organ being paid to terrorist doctors willing to turn them in to Taliban authorities.

Sources[edit]