UnNews:Scott Morrison blamed for job shortage

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Saturday, April 20, 2024, 15:27:59 (UTC)
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17 August 2022

While as Prime Minister, Scott Morrison also worked at his local Kmart.

CANBERRA, Australia -- Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has asserted that his predecessor, Scott Morrison, moonlighted at six other jobs whilst serving as the PM.

"Would our nation be in the grip of 8.5% unemployment if Morrison had done his government job full-time?" asked the current Prime Minister, adding that it would have made a significant dent in the unemployment figure if six other deserving Aussies had filled the extra jobs.

Albanese released documents showing that Morrison appointed himself the Minister of Coal, Minister of Oil, Minister of Saying Tough Things to China, Minister of Assuaging Guilt over the Aboriginals, and Minister of Warm Beer — noting that, "Anyone can do that last one." Morrison was also a cashier at the Kmart in Gungahlin, until he was fired for miscounting customers' change and unaccounted notes in the till. "Good thing he wasn't also Treasurer," the store manager stated. "Right....right?"

The Albanese administration has taken a bead on unemployment. The Labor Labour Minister, Brendan O'Connor, has announced that Australia will suspend the recruitment of skilled foreigners able to do specialised jobs, in favour of natives who are not.

Albanese has declined to follow the lead of the United States, where government simply pays people so much to stay in the basement and wait for Mum to send down pizza that they drop out of the labour force entirely, resulting in what Joe Biden has called the "best jobless figures ever."

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