UnNews:Pimps Protest Proposed Tax
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Sunday, December 22, 2024, 01:48:59 (UTC) |
| Pimps Protest Proposed Tax | 
|
2 July 2006
Pimps rally on Washington in Response to Proposed Legislation. jsonitsac Washington Bureau Correspondent
In a large rally today pimps from across the nation rallied against a proposed law by Senator Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) which would make it a felony for pimps to not have their hos file federal W-2 Income Tax forms. Pimps from across the nation decended on the nation's capitol in order to express their discontent with the new legislation.
According to Lukky Larry from Harlem, New York, the taxation would cause many problems for his small buisness. "I'ves got demz hoz, and theys cost money and stuff to upkeep. I can't afford to pay their taxes, especially when my bitches don't give my money." Many pimps complained that much of their expenses come in defending their territory and mantaining their wardrobe. According to a pimp from Compton, California known only as Ko-Dawg "If I had to pay income taxez I'd have to list much of my wardrobe as a business expense. However, I'm concerned that the IRS are playa hatas and they may audit me."
The pimps began arriving in Washington on Thursday and by Saturday morning had asembled a sizeable rally. The pimps, in full regalia marched down Constitution Avenue to the Capitol bulding where they sang the protest song "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp." When the pimps arrived at the national mall sometime around noon, they began to speak. One of the noted speekers was Des Moines' only pimp Corn Bling who last supported Grassley during his prior campaign, but could no longer lend his support to him as he was now a "Hater." After another hour of speaches by various pimps, they peacefully dispersed back to their homes. Senator Grassley is yet to comment on the rally.