UnNews:Pakistan demands return of statuette

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15 October 2016

The statuette portrays an Indus Valley Girl during a scandalous period when no one "danced" but merely stood apart from their partner and shuffled their feet.

NEW DELHI, India -- Pakistan is demanding the return of the famous "Dancing Girl" from India. Pakistan will go to UNESCO and claim that the Girl is part of Pakistan's cultural heritage.

The demand for the Girl comes just after India's notorious "surgical strike" across the Line Of Control, and Pakistan's capture of an Indian soldier who fatefully picked the same evening to demonstrate lack of control and wander across the same line for "a quiet place to take a leak."

Indian prime minister Narendra Modi worried that the Pakistanis were contemplating a surgical strike of their own. However, the Girl turns out to be a four-inch-high (10.5 cm) statuette, dating around 2500 BC. The statuette, now in the Indian National Museum, shows that settlers of that region were adept in blending and casting metals — and cut a pretty good rug as well.

Briton Mortimer Wheeler has said, "There's nothing like her, I think, in the world," something that is true, I think, about pretty much any statuette. (Except the Oscars.®) On the other hand, if the ancient Indus Valley residents were really All That, they might have stamped out a couple thousand of these numbers, in which case there might be, I think, scads of them lying around.

Given that modern Pakistan, with its Taliban cultural heritage, tends not to favour images of a girl of perhaps fifteen years of age with her face, among other things, uncovered, it is likely that the Sharif government will melt down the Dancing Girl and recast it into a shiny new mortar round.

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