UnNews:Oil down, US braces for charm offensive
| Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 19:50:59 (UTC) |
| Oil down, US braces for charm offensive | 
|
14 March 2022
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The world price of oil has fallen by one-quarter since March 6, and Americans are preparing for their government to violate the Geneva Convention with a terrorist attack of self-congratulation.
Oil hit a "peak" of $130 on March 6. The peak assumes that $130 is the same as in the 2008 peak despite twelve years of inflation. But newsmen have consensus and "the headlines are settled." They are now turned toward the Oval Office, where the same publicists who blew up to full-page size a one-week, four-cent drop in the price of gasoline as it was on its way to doubling in price, were set to give "the Big Guy" total credit for the sudden price drop.
Prices have been rising all year, as Joe Biden killed the Fireball XL5 pipeline, cancelled leases, and appointed Fed directors who were ready to close banks for loaning to oilmen. But it took an extra vault upward as Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine and started shelling non-combatants, especially those carrying Stinger missiles. The Administration did likewise, devising Twitter hashtags to put the whole year in Putin's lap. Perhaps traders realized that Biden would have to announce an embargo of Russian oil — and when he did so, they saw that America would keep buying oil, only through third parties, and that the price rise had been excessive.
Whatever the cause, the White House is set to claim credit for a graph that, yesterday, was entirely Putin's doing. The nation is bracing for aftershocks, as the President and his Press Secretary back-slap one another silly. Or maybe she's just trying to attend to his debilitating cough.
Sources[edit]
- Matt Egan "Oil tumbles below $100 a barrel". CNN, March 14, 2022