UnNews:Man gets into record by eating 103 hamburgers but dies

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

We distort, you deride UnNews Monday, June 17, 2024, 14:56:59 (UTC)

Man gets into record by eating 103 hamburgers but dies UnNews Logo Potato.png

30 October 2007

A man has beaten the world record for eating the most hamburgers in eight minutes but unfortunately dies from all the fat he had consumed. Joey Chestnut, 23, was trained for this record breaker as he had eaten 97 burgers in 23 minutes two years ago and 64 burgers in 11 minutes five weeks before the competition. "He was a good man, loving hamburgers until his heart stopped." Told by one of his friends, "Its sad to because we had so much fun together, trying to stuff down burgers in our throats to see who was the person that gags the last."

Chestnut, before his untimely death. Wow, I can't believe he was so slim before he ate all those burgers.

The show off was held at the Krystal Square Off were contestants had to shove down a bunch of burgers or hot dogs down their mouths to see who can eat the most. The record was originally being held by Japan's Takeru Kobayashi, but he couldn't participate this year because of painful heart burns he had had from last year's Krystal Square Off. "Damn, I could have been there to beat him, but my doctors said, 'That would not be wise.' Idiots..." Quoted by an angry Kobayashi at the local hospital.

After winning the contest, Chestnut has suffered a heart attack right at a live interview. Paramedics unfortunately couldn't revive Chestnut and was pronounced dead at the scene. It was a sad death because it was the first time he won first place and had won some cash too. "What, he's dead? He didn't even claim his prize, whatever, I'll give this to that Japanese kid at the hospital." Said Brad Wahl, vice president of the Krystal Square cook off.

Wahl had apologized to the family of Chestnut and had given them the money to pay off debt and insurance. The family however is not about this as they are unable to find a coffin large enough to fit his ridiculously overweight body into it.