UnNews:London man discovers that wife is actually Yucca plant

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22 July 2006

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Mrs. Sterr.

STAINES, England ― After 30 years of marriage, Kent Sterr, a London butcher, has discovered his wife's true identity: she is in fact a rare Yucca plant.

Mr. Sterr, a London butcher for over ten years, says he met his wife in a bar. "She was just standing in the corner by herself, and she looked at me in a way I've always wanted to be looked at," he goes on to say, "we hit it off then and things have been pretty much the same way ever since."

Sterr's friends and family claim that they knew something was fishy about his wife prior to Mr. Sterr marrying her.

"Something just wasn't right", says Kent's business partner and fellow butcher, Oscar Cholke. "There was just something about her." During their honeymoon to Tokyo, Sterr says his wife was very closed-off and quiet as usual, and that he was hopeful that she would open up to him. Unfortunately, she never did, but despite her silence, the couple has had a rich sex life.

It wasn't until Sterr's friend Charles told Kent that he had seen his wife out with another man. After confronting his wife, Sterr and his wife went to marriage counseling. The marriage counselor, after weeks of observing and counseling the two, told Mr. and Mrs. Sterr of her "diagnosis" and informed Mr. Sterr that his wife was actually a rare Yucca plant.

Since then, Sterr has been adamant about keeping his relationship alive with his wife, despite her status as a rare Yucca plant. Mr. Sterr and Mrs. Sterr are both still happily married and recently celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary at the delight of friends and family. "I don't care what they say about her," says Sterr, "she's my wife and I love her. But she still can't cook for shit."

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