UnNews:Local band writes song critical of President Bush

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15 July 2008

Local band Scintillating Appalachian Oysters, in the brightest and most visible picture of a local band ever taken.

Eugene, Oregon. Local Eugene band "Scintillating Appalachian Oysters" have stunned the local music scene, as well as the nation, by penning a song about their dislike for President Bush.

"It's crazy that they wrote that," said local drummer James Cheever. "I thought pretty much all songs had to be about your girlfriend or, you know, your ex-girlfriend. But, like, singing about Presidents and politics and stuff? That's pretty far out there."

The song, entitled "Bad Bush," contains the following lyrics:

You said you wanted freedom
But all you wanted was oil
And you said you were the Decider
But all you decided was to divide
Hey, fuck you, George.

The New York Times praised the song as "genius" and printed an interview with Jake Parnell, lead singer/songwriter of the Oysters.

Asked how he came up with the stunningly novel concept, Parnell told the Times, "I don't know, I just write stuff about, you know, stuff I'm thinking about. Like when I meet a girl, I write a song about it. When we break up, I write a song about it. When I go to a club and drink too much, I write a song about it. So the other day I was thinking 'Wow, I don't like President Bush very much,' and I thought, 'Hey, I should write a song about that.'"

Although it's too early to determine whether this breakthrough technique of writing stuff one is thinking about, (or, if you will permit us to coin a phrase, "thinkwriting,") will catch on, some imitators have already sprung up. Portland band "Jizztastic" has already penned a lyric called "Where the hell did I put my keys?".

Other publications, however, have been less laudatory about Parnell's work. The Washington Post called the song "scandalous" and said that "it had no real place in the national discourse." Conservative online newspaper Newsmax called the song "hopelessly wrongheaded." Columnist Ann Coulter wrote that Parnell was "a little fucking faggot who should have a sword shoved up his ass while I piss on his face."

Sources[edit]

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