UnNews:Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn

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Separatist Quebecers are pretty sure Jack Layton wanted to tell them something, they just wouldn't listen.

We distort, you deride UnNews Wednesday, July 24, 2024, 08:55:59 (UTC)

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22 August 2011
In an event that has been a shock to a whole country, Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the Motherland: The United States of Quebec.

While the Quebec people feel a bit guilty on this sad day for constantly warring with the rest of Canada, they cannot help but admire the courage of the man who single-handedly took on the CIA agents. It is said he slayed 299 of them in his epic battle while the lone remaining pundit resorted to infuriating immoral tactics to defeat him. Quebecers were shocked, flabbergasted and stunned, but they managed to capture and eliminate the man thing which got the best of Jack. Mr. Layton was their primary choice as far as personality and overall honesty should go in politics, even deriding their own. The populace admires the fighting spirit the leader of the NDP put forth, even though he carried the stigma of being an English-Canadian.

Quebecers will always bear the memory of Mister Layton as originating from English Canada, not being born in Quebec... And, err... Montreal is not in Quebec ... right ?! If it is, that could explains why he professed much of the same values quebecers are endeered to: stopping green house gases emissions, reducing the size of the Army and partying hard! As Quebecers always said very respectfully: "C'était un bon Jack!"

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.