UnNews:Film "Back To The Future" responsible for time paradox?
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| We distort, you deride | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Sunday, December 22, 2024, 04:50:59 (UTC) |
| Film "Back To The Future" responsible for time paradox? | 
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20 December 2006
TIME, SPACE - Ace reporter, Chuck Chucka Chucka Choo-Choo, here, bringing you this live report! Via videophone, deceased genius Albert Einstein will explain today's issue.
- Albert
- Yes, Yes. Und thank you. You see Back To The Future was released in the 80's, the time period where Chuck Norris punched the interdimensionalchronosthingamajig, leaving it very weak, now, Back To The Future is the single most confusing movie title known to man because before you go BACK to the future, you must go FORWARD to the future. While they did go back to the future in the movie (being it their point origin), they also went forward to the future because they went back to the 60's.Because of Steven Speilberg's psychobabble non-sense a time paradox was created.
- Chuck
- Right..so,..um...what happened?
- Albert
- Marty McFly went back AND forward,to the future no less, simultaneously.This makes no sense what so ever, efficiently making a paradox and further crumbling down the walls of reality, causing many horrible things to happen.
- Chuck
- Oh! I TOTALLY get it, so name off a couple of these horrible things.
- Albert
- It created Name Shortening Syndrome, turned Michael Jackson white,created Rocky 5,cancer--
- Chuck
- But, we had cancer BEFORE Back To The Future.
Artist's impression of a paradox having been eaten by a grue.
- Albert
- But,only because the paradox put it there, originally, there was no cancer until 1992. It also created the movie critic catchphrase: "Two thumbs up!"
- Chuck
- God Almighty! It did? That's awful!
- Albert
- The paradox also altered Barman And Robin by replacing Val Kilmer with George Clooney,destroyed the original copies of the Bible and Necromnoicon,and created.........BERNIE MAC!
- Chuck
- Wow! Spooky stuff! And you heard it first from UnNews,the News that happens to be Un!
Sources[edit]
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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |