UnNews:Female bomber trashes Shi'ite campus
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| Female bomber trashes Shi'ite campus | 
|
26 February 2007
Bagdad, Iraqistan- a Bagdad student prankster has exploded a bomb on the campus of Mustansiriyah University. In event that mimics many US a teen 80`s cliche comedy that we all know and love.
However this is not your usual smokebomb in the girls dorm, nor is the Dean is not threatening to expel the troublesome student, instead the Dean`s body organs are being scrapped off the floor by his family.
In fact the suicidal student had completed her last samester at Mustansiriyah University and decided to mark the day with traditional Iraqistan bloodshed by killing 41 other students.
The student Adbummi Sakhammi, had graduated her suicide bomb class with honours and was celebrating with classmates.
"I guess she just got carried away, however its a shame to see her do other students homework." commented Prof Muhammad Abhuhu.
Woman`s lib groups around the region are claiming its a victory for woman around the world. "This is a great day for female suicide bombing. The sport is often underlooked by men!" The Spokeswoman for the League for Housewife Terror said.
"This year we are hoping to get sponsourship by Nike!"
Sakhammi`s father said "she was a great daughter. With a good sense of humor, perfect timing everytime. Most of all she was dyslexic, and it was a struggle everyday, but to see her achieve so much is so great."
The League for Dyslexic Bombers (LDBQ) quoted on their incomprihensable webpage as saying about the attack "allohu, bay thookful, say was poofect for thas cuase of fook america, allohu be merifool!"
Meanwhile it was also revealed the student was Vegan and in a wheelchair. The League for Vegan and Disabled Terror (LVDT) was quoted as saying from their website "The canteen at the uni had too much sausage and not enough soya, and don`t get us started on the wheelchair access issue! we warned them!"
Also the League for Lesbian Muslim Shittes are claiming they are responsible for the attack "Allah is woman, just like Sakhammi who is now in paradise with 70 virgin lesbians!"
Meanwhile a serious Jihad group, Al Qaeda commentted on their webpage "Woman suicide attacks? Dont make me laugh!" which shows exactly how tough the sport is on female bombers. "They should be having muslim babies, not flinging their ovaries and guts around the marketsquare! Thats the islamic mans work!"
However all groups claim the day should be one for celebration, a place where celebration is always marked with blooshed. "Since Fightclub came out everyone is making crap bombs and selling soap, so its nice to see some jihadists actually improve their skills and go to uni!" A local resident claimed.
Another local resident claimed "fucking students!"
Oh Badgad! Your a funny place!
Sources[edit]
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Sources[edit]
- "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY
- "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY