UnNews:Feathered sheep cause disturbance
| A newsstand that's brimming with issues | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Sunday, December 22, 2024, 03:24:59 (UTC) |
| Feathered sheep cause disturbance | 
|
30 April 2007
LLKILLIPHLFOPYKINNLMOCKSMENGLLYLLYLY, Wales -- People of the Welsh capital, "Wales" where shocked to find that their biggest American Export, Rudyard, The Feathered Sheep had been arrested in England for "allegedly" fisting an air steward whilst in the brace position and not actually being made out of feathers.
Laws in England state that the name of a product must correspond with what the product is. A similar case has emerged when the makers of "Welsh Dragon Sausages" where ordered to highlight on their packaging that their product contained no dragon at all.
A spokesman for Rudyard, The Feathered Sheep said "It's absolutely insane! There is no Coke in Coca Cola, there is no Mac in a Big Mac, and there is definitely no shame in being the biggest Queen since HRH Queen Jemima Puddleduck! That's right ma, I'm a gay, a poofter, I like todgers in my bum bum"
The citizens of the Communist Republic of the USA were polled after the shocking discovery of Rudyard's lack of feathers. 78% of them said that they could not let their children watch this sheep, knowing that it was all a lie. The UnNews team managed to get a snap of Rudyard without his trademark Nazi uniform complete with Feather Boa and matching accessories, and the team was shocked to find it was no sheep, but Bungle, from the children's TV show "Rainbow" all along.
This is not the first time that Rainbow's own Bungle has been proven to be as gay as a Graham Norton Marathon. He has openly admitted to fisting much larger pray than an air steward. He has also been quoted as saying he has engaged in the sweaty handed actions with the Pope himself!
Sources[edit]
- BBC "Dragon Sausages Name Warning". BBC, November 17, 2006
- Unknown "Bungle Fisting the Pope?". Chairmanmoo, November 19, 2001