UnNews:Church Softens Stance on Gay Marriage
| UnFair and UnBalanced | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 16:19:59 (UTC) |
| Church Softens Stance on Gay Marriage | 
|
30 August 2009
Rome, Vatican City -- Vatican officials today announced a surprise bull from Papa Benedict on Gays and Lesbians marrying. He says the church is ok with it now. As he returned from his annual Bavarian Backwoods Backpacking trip with Cardinals, a group which included; Gomer, Floyd, Stewie, Wylde, Brummel and Edward, he announced the policy change from the south balcony.
"I would like to clarify the Church's position on Gays and Lesbians marrying. -- Its Ok, by God".
Continuing, "This See sees nothing wrong with a Gay marrying a Lesbian." This change took Italians by surprise, as heretofore, the Church has never mentioned Lesbians by geographical reference before. Reaction world-wide has been immediate. The Greek Island of Lesvos also known as Lesbos, filed a lawsuit against the Church in order to pay the GSkyB-TV bill for the island.
Basically Catholics prior findings were proven false and it was shown that kindness and mercy should be shown to Gays and Lesbians. "That was so 2004." spoke one Bishop "We've moved on and admitted our mistake. Apparently we used to base them on the Apostle Paul, but later we found out that we mistranslated. We discovered a different translation that said the opposite of what we thought Paul had said."
Sources[edit]
- Ass. Press "NJ Catholic bishops campaign for gay marriage". Philly Inquirer, August 27, 2009
- Dyke w/ a bike "A gay rights alphabet soup glossary". Indy Examiner, August 9, 2009