UnNews:Chron Aquires a New Laptop with the Uncyc Sales Funds

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Sunday, November 28, 2021, 21:14:59 (UTC)

Chron Aquires a New Laptop with the Uncyc Sales Funds UnNews Logo Potato.png

4 August 2006

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Harvard University, Uncyclomania ConferenceChronarion was seen at the Uncyclomania conference using the laptop he purchased with the proceeds from the sale of Uncyclopedia to Jimbo Wales.

Chronarion is seen using his ultra-modern new laptop!

It appears that he is a very discerning laptop purchaser, going for an absolute top-of-the-line Genuine Dall ™ laptop. He was seen playing the game Rouge, and the sequel Another Shade of Rouge with amazingly high page flip rates exceeding one page per second. It has a new ultra-low key travel keyboard that allows far higher rates of typing. Even Jimbo's laptop cannot compare in speed, screen size, and keyboard, with Chronarion's new laptop.

"It's definitely faster than Jimbo's crappy MacBook Pro", said attendee Dawg. "I envy his awesome new laptop".

Chronarion got a great deal through the use of a coupon code from his latest Viagra purchase which gave him a massive discount, bringing it under the amount paid for uncyclopedia.wikia.com. He has mentioned some input problems, but he believes it was caused by the re-installed Windowz XD ™, since it sucks.

This laptop was found to have an approval rating of 9.9 out of 6 possible points on the uncyclopedia laptop review, often mimicked by bullshit sites like CNET.