UnNews:Birthers ask for Osama's death certificate to be released

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Sunday, December 22, 2024, 21:53:59 (UTC)

Birthers ask for Osama's death certificate to be released UnNews Logo Potato.png

2 May 2011

San Francisco, California -- The birthers have been strangely silent since President of the United States, Barack Obama released his long-awaited Hawaiian birth certificate. "I just hope its real, but what are you gonna do? "but I am really worried more about the sanctity of Islamic law regarding the burial of Osama bin Laden". says a lead birther movement spokes person.

" What I'm waiting for is the moment of redemption when, like the Democrats in the Sixties, the party that has pandered to prejudice and fringe lunacy feels for you, feels for you."
—Deepock Chaka Khan


"Osama may have been a terrorist, but he was working for his god, and his god is supposedly our god and by god if that's the case, he had better be dead and buried the right way."-- "What if he is the beast?" interrupted another.

This just goes to show the peculiar attention to detail the birthers have. They are accused of being racists, but maintain they just want to be sure everything is done in accordance to the law, even Islamic Law as it pertains to Muslims. While stopping short of calling Obama a liar, they just maintain they would like a timely release of Osama bin Laden's death certificate, signed by Pockistahny , a US, Afghan, Yemani, Syrian, Sudanese and Saudi doctors.

Prior to death, bin Laden's Yemeni father married his Syrian mother, moved to Saudi Arabia, then Osama moved to Sudan, then Afghanistan and now supposedly Pockistahn. Birther's are concerned bin Laden may just be "dead to them" in regard to the host of countries associated with him. Agreement that he is really dead will assure birthers they are now free to wait for his second coming, as prophesied in the book of Revelation. US Surgeon General Deepock Chaka Khan was dismayed by the high burden of proof demanded by the birthers.


Sources[edit]

Go to the Front Page
UnNews Senior Editors are currently arguing over the gender-neutrality of this related article:

Osama Bin Laden dies