UnNews:Biden support slipping among lying, dog-faced pony soldiers

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12 February 2020

Joe Biden at an event in Gilford, N.H. Staff provide two microphones so he can insult twice as many voters. In the foreground, a previous questioner prepares to play the shopworn prank of giving Mr. Biden "rabbit ears."

MANCHESTER, New Hampshire -- The presidential campaign of Joe Biden is losing support from lying, dog-faced pony soldiers.

Mr. Biden’s bedrock support among lying, dog-faced pony soldiers has been seen as perhaps the greatest strength of his campaign. But the closely-watched voting bloc seems to be looking for alternatives to Mr. Biden after losses in early-voting states. Madison Moore, 21, asked Mr. Biden in Hampton to explain his 4th-place finish in Iowa. Mr. Biden said the Iowa event was merely a caucus. "Have you ever been to a caucus?"

Ms. Moore nodded that she had. That was when Mr. Biden called her a lying, dog-faced pony soldier. The line derives from one or several old John Wayne movies that no one has been able to identify. Lying, dog-faced pony soldiers nationwide seemed to have marked this exchange and begun looking for primary-election alternatives.

Dog-faced? You decide

Ms. Moore would later admit that she had been lying and never really did attend a caucus. However, she denied being either dog-faced or a pony soldier. She said she had nodded out of nervousness in the presence of the former Vice President, was a complete nobody, and the fact that you are lying is irrelevant when someone calls you a liar, especially a "downer" such as Mr. Biden.

Ms. Moore may switch her support to a candidate who is not so much of a downer — such as a candidate who vows to impose crisis measures to stop the imminent extinction of the planet Earth.