UnNews:A promising Israeli peace initative: landscape design

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Where man always bites dog UnNews Monday, November 29, 2021, 23:45:59 (UTC)

A promising Israeli peace initative: landscape design UnNews Logo Potato.png

14 July 2006


Jerusalem, the Zionist Entity

In a surprising announcement three leading Israeli landscape architects try to find a new and bold solution to the ever present Middle - East conflict.

"It is quite simple" stated the well known landscape specialist Ehud Olmert "We have come to the conclusion that the nations of the Middle East are simply way too engaged in shooting one another than in designing their surroundings. We strongly believe that if we use basic principles of Feng Shui to allow some positive energies to flow into the region - all would be improved".

"Indeed" agreed his colleague, senior architect Amir Peretz "And since we Israelis adore valleys and tableaus we thought about starting the new initiative with our good friend and neighbour, Lebanon".

"And so" concluded the third member of the architect trio, Dan Halutz, "we have decided to flatten and redesign the landscape of Lebanon to make sure nothing stands between the region and the lovely energies coming in from Syria. Perhaps we might even get more rain like that!"

As to the possible reaction of the Lebanese next door neighbours to the purposed redesign stated Olmert "I'm sure they would be thrilled. They have way too much mountains as it is. After we finish, they might even make little canals and call themselves NewNew Amsterdam and start smoking pot. It would be just lovely".

Lebanon. It was good while it lasted