The Izzard of Woz
“You know, there are some books that you just can never forget forget because they have a very big impact on you life. I've never read this book but, it moved me. Yo, every dumbass in this studio audience gettin' a cheap, used photocopy of this book!!!”
“I love this book, but, I would never read it.”
“I dont have proper quote on this book... wait! I have now.”
Written in 700 B.C by Amanda Lynwood, The Izard of Woz is a wonderful children's book that is stuffed with fun facts and trivia and was written in 700 B.C by Amanda Lynwood. It was first discovered to actually be useful for something in 2006 when pop/sex singer Janet Jackson used it in place of toilet paper in a public restaurant.
Background and Writing[edit]
It is a common rumor that their are many other intellectual uses for this book, but this is not the reason why 7476376945763475847 million copies of this fascinatingly outrageous book have been sold to date. It is the fact that this intriguing book is an excellent source of education for the rare end that has raised it's non existent popularity. This book's copies are sold so frequently that, in less exaggeration the actually happening, every bar code is monitored by top secret, alien/people computers that are so top secret that no one has ever heard of them. No one ever invented has ever read the contents of this book and rumor has it that anyone who tries reading the book will die of boredom as soon as one word has been read. Due to this fact, no one else has ever bothered to explore it's tastefully appetizing contents.
The 'Izz' Phase[edit]
Ever since use by Janet Jackson's perfectly imperfect crack, there has been a mad, crazy phase, named 'Izz' in early 2007 by the Government of the United States of America, in which teenagers has abruptly begun wiping their asses with pages of this book. This is such a phenomenon that the University of Unknown Facts has dedicated a course on this phase for the insane price of $-0.0000000000000000000 in your home currency. For more information on the 'Izz' phase, see the The 'Izz' Phase section of this article.
In Pop Culture[edit]
Many artists, such as the critically acclaimed Mariah Carey, have given birth to singles whose lyrics have been inspired by this book that has been found to be appetizing for the rare end when, in 2004 or was it 2005?, pop/sex singer Janet Jackson used it in place of toilet paper in a public restaurant after it was written by Amanda Lynwood in 700 B.C.
The Movie[edit]
There is no movie about this book since it would have to actually be read in order to write a script in accordance with it. Although pornographic films have been suggested with including people wiping their asses with the pages of this book, leaving the cover which is said to be the best part for last, no film corporation has signed onto this idea.
“If your wanna read this book and then make a movie from beyond the grave, be my guest!”
Soundtrack[edit]
A soundtrack was put together and released for the non-existent movie, "The Izzard of Oz". It includes all of the songs that were popularly influenced by the book and non-existent film's legacy.
Tracklisting[edit]
- Honey (The Izz Anthem) by Mariah Carey (1999)
- Oops! ... I Izzed It Again by Britney Spears (2005)
- I'm Izzed by T-Pain (2006)
- I Wanna Izz Your Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne (2007)
- Umbrella (Izz-Mix) by Rihanna (2007)
Clothing[edit]
Oprah Winfrey woke up one morning and decided to create a line of shoes for The Izzard of Woz. Shoe borrowed lots of money from the bank and squeezed in two of her three pennies she owned and quickly became the world's first black billionaire. The shoes were distributed by Church of Oprah.
Influence on Celebrity Lifestyles[edit]
Many celebritieshave been spotted on elite streets 'Izzing' their bodies in public. Celebrities who have since, knowingly, been incessantly 'Izzed' are:
- Snow Black
- Paris Hilton
- [[Jessica Simpson]
- Shakira
- WordGirl
- Avril Lavigne
- Mariah Carey
- Britney Spears
- Rihanna
- Christina Aguilera
- Paula DeAnda
- Snoop Dogg
- Eddie Izzard