The Foundations of Real Time and Turn Based Strategy

	The Foundations of Real Time and Turn Based Strategy was an article written for the Noob only writing competition 2012!
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Definition

Real Time is a term coined by Albert Einstein, as part of his theory of absolutery. He was experimenting on some rats using various chemicals and torture devices, and he found that the rats behaved as though they were frantically trying to escape. Why is it that the rats move quicker and more sharply when in stress?

He then recalled one day when he was having so much fun at a football game. The time just flew by, or as he would put it.... whooooooshed past. How is it that when one is having fun, time goes faster?

File:The Clock Store (1931) Walt Disney Symphony Cartoon

All of this led him to a more conclusive (and exclusive) experiment, where he hooked up a woman to an electric clock. Oh how this would be a great experiment. Einstein excited the woman and the clock ran faster, which means when you're enjoying yourself, time runs faster. The pulse of her heart sped up the clock. On the other hand, when bored, the pulse is wimpy and the clock slows down.

When he tied the woman up and prodded her with a stick, the clock speed was erratic yet generally elevated. Einstein continued and patented his ideas at his own patent office!Walt Disney was so impressed that he created this cartoon! The cartoon's deep meaning is felt by many, who say that Walt Disney took Einstein's theory and made it more real, more life-like. It shows that all our actions and every tick and tock of a clock, is intertwined as one reality. This is shown by anthropomorphic clocks.

Einstein commented on the film saying: "It is surely not an infinitely great piece of work; it says nothing about rats, nothing about women, and nothing about enjoying one's self. It tries to show a great appreciation of life and all the small things, yet it never truly shows any person actually enjoying himself; instead it shows a sadistic clock beating and battering another clock. That part is quite similar to clocks and torture, but clocks torturing other clocks!!?? This guy needs to get a grip on my theories. Sigh, such is life being too smart, nobody understands me, not even Walt Disney... "

Walt Disney then proceeded to explain his work:

“"When forced to summarize the general theory of absolutery in one sentence: Time and space and gravitation have no separate existence from cartoon characters."”

~ Walt Disney on his cartoon

Examples of Real Time in culture

File:Real Time With Bill Maher Overtime - Episode 235

A Real-Time game

File:Countdown Theme

Turn Based Strategy Game

Turn based strategy is an act by which one or more opponents make turns in a separate time period to one or more other opponents. It is a formal process. An example is in gun duels, where two men walk back to back then turn round to make a shot.

A modern depiction of Turn-Based Strategy

File:George Lazenby's Gun Barrel Sequence.

A turn based strategy game, is not the following

• 1. Based Strategy Game.
• 2. Strategy Game Based.
• 3. Turn Strategy Game.
• 4. Game Strategy.
• 5. Game Based Turn.
• 6. Strategy Game.

The most important defining part of it is: TURN. For, without turns, where would strategy come from? Thus, our strategy is not the base for which turns thrive. NO. Our Turn is the base by which a strategy thrives.

TBS Vs RTS debate.

For: "Oh, those anarchists who play StarCraft, oh those poor turn-less souls... and yet the moment they would make a turn, it shall be a turn for thy's worst."

Against: "Damn them silly drones who plug themselves so squarely into the dull existence that demands we all share the equal burden of square hopping... oh the horrors of going back to the simple times of Chess and simple ideas such as Black and White. Does it really matter what you are, where you come from? Rules, I say rules may perish. See, in games like Starcraft there are boundaries that make all players theoretically equal to one another, but nay, there be no rules in a RTS, only those fair boundaries.

For: That's a good argument for a savage, turn-less beast, such as yourself, but nay not good enough, for I have something up my sleeve. A tactic which you may never posess.

Against: Okay I'm waiting for a proper comeback. But erm, what is that tactic?

For: So you see, you wait until you wait until you wait! Ahahah! Then it is clear, do we wait for circumstances to come into our minds, our reality? YES. It would seem that you too are one who waits your turn in an argument, YES a debate. You sit back and think about your strategy, YES just as we do. YES You are a FOOL for not realizing the massive contra-------

Against: Interrupts (with a smug face). You think this is check mate? You.... YOU IS mistaken, for I can, no, WILL interrupt your slow, enduring decision making processes. When it comes to the crunch, I make swift decisions. You sit back like a fat man who wants all the pleasures of life before succumbing to hard work and valor.

For: Ah no but...

Against: Interrupts again. Aha! See, I am powerful, I can interrupt at any time and you must wait for your turn!!

For: You are right about that, but you talk of honor and such things, yet where is your honor if you would be one to come up behind me for the kill?

Against: That is true,but you.... OH NO, OH SHIT!!

For: Eh?

Against: .....

For: Ah well if you're not replying, I'll just continue my turn with the game I'm playing. What's that I hear? You're being attacked. Sigh, some people are so stupid they won't press pause. - -Transmission Ended- -

Well known turn-based games

• Civilized 1
• Civilized 2 (Adam and Eve).
• Civilized Family
• Civilization.
• 3 Turns in one! A short but complex game!
• Turnip Power.
• The boy who cried TURN!
• World of Turncraft.

(Part of the Combine-3 pack).

• X Com : Heart Of the Warm.
• Y Com : Wings Of The Y Axis Alliance.
• Z Com : Legs Of the Third Dimension.

Combine 3 Pack

These are three separate games as part of one whole game, developed by Billiard entertainment over a decade. The idea is that the three games combine to create a completely 3-Dimensional game with all axis (X,Y,Z).

Well known RTS games

• Starcraft
• Shitcraft (expansion pack to StarCraft).
• Total Annihilation (A RTS that destroys itself and wipes your hard-drive, a favourite among TBS'ers.)
• Puppy In My Pocket (They're as REAL (TIME) as can be!)
• Wayne Rooney's RoonScape.
• Superman 64 (Well known for its mind-bending thinking on the fly strategy).

(Note: If a Superman 64 save file is present, Superman becomes unlockable in Starcraft 64 as a Zerg!! OMG MEGAAWESOME.)

Compelling Reasons to buy Turn-based games

• 1. They last forever.
• 2. You can have as many breaks as you want!
• 3. You can play by email!
• 4. Less CPU intensive!
• 5. You can manage everything and anything.
• 6. You can take things in turns!
• 7.The playing field is all pretty with squares or hexes.
• 8. It's slow thus is better.
• 9. That Turn-based dude totally nailed his RTS opponent in an argument.
• 10.
• 11.
• 12.
• 13.
• 14
• (Please note: TBS fans fill in the blanks, thnx.)

Compelling Reasons to buy Real-time games

File:SlayersBoxer vs Blind Guy

• 1. They last forever, yeah but who wants that?
• 2. You feel like you're running a marathon! (and your legs are bleeding.)
• 3. Better online play, if you like wasting your time on FAGBOOK!
• 4. You can show off your super powerful PC because you're that superficial!!
• 5. You can pawn noobs who can't multitask and never will, so you must be a GIRL!
• 6. Total Annihilation is better than ShitCraft anyway!
• 7. Blind people can play Starcraft! Just shows how much it sucks! I could play that shit in my sleep!
• -8.
• -9.
• -10.
• -11.
• -12.

(Please note: RTS fans you suck dick.)

.

A Typical Advantage of a Turn-based game. Vs a RTS game!

Explanation: Turn based games are like, frozen in time dude, you can plan anything out, you can use all your mega awesome moves while the enemy can't do shit! Awesome.

But.. Shitty real time games makes yous getz eatens. Coz like you cant get to the nuke button all in 1, shit, you've got a bad deal there sonny.

Note:Please zoom in on the images (click once, then again) to see important details such as badly chosen font colours. Note: Guess which one is Turn-Based and which one isn't. Well derrrrrrr. Or just click on the pictures and see the headings. Lazy face.